Well since I now have a vast audience of two I'll start off with problem number one. It's sort of a complex one, or at least I feel it's complex, and I'm sort of bogged down by it. The situation is that a very close friend, who I have known for years is going through a divorce. She's has only told myself, and her mother about what's happening. So as you can imagine, I end up hearing all about what's going on. At first she would only call and talk about this once a day, and that's fine. Then it became twice a day, and I have to be honest, that's kind of hard, but I can do it. I see that there is clearly a need. The beginning of this month I was trying to move back to HB, and she was moving into a new apartment. She called and asked me to come over and spend time with her every day. I had to tell her no, I just couldn't do it, but she acted really put out and upset with me. The fact that I'm paying close to $5/gallon in gas and live 20 miles away, and make half as much money as her is apparently of no importance. She will not come see me. She called on Monday and asked me to come visit, and I told her I needed to go to fhe, at which point she basically told me that her need for company was greater than my need to go to fhe, and as a service to her she was asking me to go visit. So I did. Then she called yesterday and wanted me to go over, and I couldn't. She called today and asked, and I couldn't. Today she acted very put out about it, but she announced that she expects me to skip fhe again next week to come spend the night at her house. Furthermore, when I went over on Monday, we were discussing a guy I've been out with a few times that I'm a little iffy about. He's quite a bit younger than me, and still in school. This friend announced to me "this is just going to be a summer fling, enjoy it while it lasts. There is no way I'm going to ever let you marry a guy who has no degree, no job, and is still in school." At which point I realize that she will do everything in her power to screw this up, because she doesn't want anyone else hogging up my time. The boy and I are going out again tomorrow and she and one other friend are the only two people that know anything about him. I'm going to tell them both that I wrote him off after tomorrow's date, regardless of whether or not I do. I can't have other people providing this running commentary on my dating life. It really doesn't do me any good at all. I'm panicky enough about these things, I certainly don't need anyone helping me out with that. So I guess the question is, am I handling this properly? Another friend lectured me for blowing off fhe over this, because in her opinion, it was selfish of the married friend in distress to ask a single girl on the verge of turning 30 to miss any social opportunity. I see that point, but I also see that she needs friends, and she does need someone to be there for her, I just can't figure out where the boundaries need to be. I feel selfish always telling her that I can't spend time with her, but then I really do kind of want to have time to do single people things, rather than spend all my time on the phone or at the house of a married woman in the middle of a divorce. I love her, but honestly, she's become very needy lately. I have a feeling that these things don't happen to men, because they know how to deal with them so help? Please any advice, commentary, anything...