The elastic does not bother me as long as I tuck my top inside the bottoms.

I have a lot of coworkers asking me why I wear basketball shorts under my slacks.

The worst part is that because I am inactive, my mom still buys them for me.

Sweetheart
 

Your mom must be a sweetheart. She wants you back in. You should probably listen to her because she seems very wise.

My mom is Sicilian. She used to beat me with a wooden spoon to make me practice the piano. Yes, she wants me back in the church.

At least she did not cane the souls of your feet.

Is that what happened to you?

Terrible!
Did you become a piano player?

I failed. None of mine can play and I wanted to raise an accompanist!
I should've beat them!

I spent 13 years as a primary pianist.

Follow the prophet is the creepiest song ever written.

Still small voice?
 

At least it doesn't get scary minor and talk about the evil I may see!

Primary piano player is best calling. See the hilarious kids but not actually have to deal with them or the frequently absent teachers!:p

Sometimes I run on my treadmill just in my garments while I listen to Chariots of Fire.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/...03_964x566.jpg

Disturbing on so many levels