Oh man, you almost had me there.
 

I was this close to heading down to your local recruiting center and signing up after reading the title of this thread. I thought to myself: Boy I've had these soberist all wrong. They sound like my kind of folks.

Then, of course, I read the body of the post. And the smattering of sincere posts that followed. A bit of a letdown I must say. I guess I'll continue worshiping at the landpoke church of porn and chicken located, conveniently, in my basement. No tie or white shirt required.

Imagine we relaxed on the "no floating" policy...would you reconsider your decision?

That was all new information for me as well. I'm still single and dating and hear the "stay moral, go oral" line every now and again, but "floating" is a new one.

It's difficult to say
 

I believe I understand the concept and have, most likely, even participated in floating exercises. That being said I'm a little hazy on whether I enjoyed said exercises. My people don't have a separate term for it, but rather lump it under the "Passing out on top of your date after a hard night of drinking" category of intimate relations.

If I can touch just one young person's life.....
 

well you know the rest.

So, the Mrs. and I figured we'd try a little floating last night. As with landpoke, it turns out I have participated in "floating" in the past; however, I didn't recognize it as floating, instead I recognized it as, "Hey baby, I'm getting a cramp. I need to rest for a while".

My observations on floating:

- Unless the dude is hung like a toothpick, or unless the chick moonlights as a mule for the Colombians, it would likely take some effort for the horny young couple to get things together to the point that they are truly "floating". Recalling my performance on my wedding night, I it unlikely that an inexperienced, sex-starved youth could hold his fire until he was truly floating. I think it more likely that those who are effective floaters have some prior experience. This makes the "I didn't think floating was really sex" line even more likely to be a complete fabrication by someone who knows better. Were I a Bishop and someone feed me this line I would either throw the book at them or let them off completely - no middle ground. The reason is that they're either total liars or else they're completely brain dead and thus aren't responsible for their actions.

- Floating at my age can easily lead to a case of "I've fallen and I can't get up". If I'm going to stay in the game I've got to keep swimming because as soon as I start floating I'm out of action.

- I just don't see the attraction of floating. You get all of the risks of good sex (e.g. getting pregnant, not being able to go on a mission, waiting a year before you can get married in the temple, etc.) without the rewards of good sex (e.g. good sex). My recommendation for horny young pre-marital couples that just can't control themselves would be to give each other hand jobs. The risk/reward ratio is much better than with "floating".

I can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to run this past the bishop. But if you live long enough....

The older guys should be able to relate to this one. That was pretty funny stuff.

By "this" I meant the original teen excuse mentioned above. Not your post, BFM.