I wonder how many people who would not be otherwise inclined to view porn, give it a peek because of all the talks make them curious.

I have yet to figure out what people love about porn. Are there really that many members addicted to porn to merit that many talks/lessons? I know a Bishop of a singles ward and he says the new thing is "floating". I must be old, because he had to explain to me what floating is.

And....?

You must be old too. I'll boardmail you.

Isn't that just hanging out with your friends drunk or high on ecstasy?

I have no idea what floating is. But, I am old.

Is my understanding correct? Quite a few young lawyers "float".

Floating is having intercourse without moving. Everything is the same, but the participants stay still and just make out. For some odd reason, they don't think this counts as actual sex.

I'm not quite certain as to the functionality of it. Without movement there is no penetration, without sexual contact and penetration, there is no sex.

Without movement after penetration there is no friction applied and no continued stimulus.

In my day, we called it "riding the wave out" so that you didn't come quickly, but what do I know.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I wasn't sure if "penetration" was allowed on this board. There is penetration. Once that has happened, it just "floats". No movement or friction.

Thinking of dead puppies is a good way to "ride the wave out".

Its like one step further than dry humping. that was the big thing when i was in highschool to dry hump girls. A little levi lovin. NOw i guess they have taken it one step further and they put it in but dont move.

It depends on with whom penetration occurs. If you penetrate cougjunkie, then that's not so cool. If you penetrate Jenna, then join the crowd.

Hmm, so Mike thinks chastity talks began with the Internet. Interesting.

This could be a fun game for you, Mike.

WTF? Floating? And someone tried to claim this didn't count as actual sex? "Honestly bishop, I didn't think it was sex unless I moved back and forth" I can't imagine any Bishop would be stupid enough to buy that line.

My rule of thumb on sex before marriage has always been: "If you stick it in, it's a sin"

We had one chastity/pornography lesson in my ward in SLC. The bishopric showed us the Elder Holland video and when the lights came back on...a good 1/3 of the room had cleared out.

After the video my bishop had someone demonstrate a baseball batting stance and said, "It's pretty simple, stay out of the strike zone."

I have to teach the law of chastity this sunday in EQ, so that should be fun.

Some women have been floating for years and didn't know it. Their husbands just call it a lack of passion and effort.

Now that gave me a good laugh. Thanks.

I gave the Law of Chastity lesson this past Sunday. Must be a CG thing.

Having witnessed the disintegration of the marriages and accompanying pain of four couples very close to me (all in the temple--I was there for three of them, all starting with such promise, all with children still in the home) due in part to infidelity, it seemed particularly pertinent.

Didn't have much time and tried to focus primarily on maintaining a home environment (husband to wife, father to children) that would prevent people from going down the path that led to the unhappiness I see in the aforementioned couples. Brief mention of porn, no mention of homosexuality (the gay folks got a break), and heavy emphasis on respect for spouse and preparing kids to understand the hows, whats, and whys of the Law of Chastity.

I like this approach...and it is one I plan on taking this week.

We all know what we're not supposed to do, but the key thing is creating an environment where we don't want to do that...and aren't even tempted etc...

I have made a few presentations in the past to wards on fifth-sundays. I take a bit of a unique angle. I try to convey to parents how absurd it is to have an open, unfiltered, and unregulatated internet connection with kids in the house, especially teenage boys. I try to convince them that it just isn't realistic to tell your kids "don't go to bad sites" and expect them to be able to resist. It's not a fair fight. The bulk of my presentation is on educating them on the technological side of setting up and monitoring a filter. And other software/utilities for monitoring computer activities.

Me too.

I'm young and I've never heard of "floating", so you old guys don't feel too bad.

Oh man, you almost had me there.
 

I was this close to heading down to your local recruiting center and signing up after reading the title of this thread. I thought to myself: Boy I've had these soberist all wrong. They sound like my kind of folks.

Then, of course, I read the body of the post. And the smattering of sincere posts that followed. A bit of a letdown I must say. I guess I'll continue worshiping at the landpoke church of porn and chicken located, conveniently, in my basement. No tie or white shirt required.

Imagine we relaxed on the "no floating" policy...would you reconsider your decision?

That was all new information for me as well. I'm still single and dating and hear the "stay moral, go oral" line every now and again, but "floating" is a new one.

It's difficult to say
 

I believe I understand the concept and have, most likely, even participated in floating exercises. That being said I'm a little hazy on whether I enjoyed said exercises. My people don't have a separate term for it, but rather lump it under the "Passing out on top of your date after a hard night of drinking" category of intimate relations.

If I can touch just one young person's life.....
 

well you know the rest.

So, the Mrs. and I figured we'd try a little floating last night. As with landpoke, it turns out I have participated in "floating" in the past; however, I didn't recognize it as floating, instead I recognized it as, "Hey baby, I'm getting a cramp. I need to rest for a while".

My observations on floating:

- Unless the dude is hung like a toothpick, or unless the chick moonlights as a mule for the Colombians, it would likely take some effort for the horny young couple to get things together to the point that they are truly "floating". Recalling my performance on my wedding night, I it unlikely that an inexperienced, sex-starved youth could hold his fire until he was truly floating. I think it more likely that those who are effective floaters have some prior experience. This makes the "I didn't think floating was really sex" line even more likely to be a complete fabrication by someone who knows better. Were I a Bishop and someone feed me this line I would either throw the book at them or let them off completely - no middle ground. The reason is that they're either total liars or else they're completely brain dead and thus aren't responsible for their actions.

- Floating at my age can easily lead to a case of "I've fallen and I can't get up". If I'm going to stay in the game I've got to keep swimming because as soon as I start floating I'm out of action.

- I just don't see the attraction of floating. You get all of the risks of good sex (e.g. getting pregnant, not being able to go on a mission, waiting a year before you can get married in the temple, etc.) without the rewards of good sex (e.g. good sex). My recommendation for horny young pre-marital couples that just can't control themselves would be to give each other hand jobs. The risk/reward ratio is much better than with "floating".

I can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to run this past the bishop. But if you live long enough....

The older guys should be able to relate to this one. That was pretty funny stuff.

By "this" I meant the original teen excuse mentioned above. Not your post, BFM.

First time hearing about floating. Sounds like some kind of test to prove mental discipline.

I think this now becomes the #1 most inappropriate sex thread in CG history, topping the Austin Collie's mom thread. Good job, guys.

Go float yourself Jay!

I wouldn't know how. Maybe we can bring in SoonerCoug as a consultant to define exactly how that is done.

I'm glad I'm not in your singles ward....I'd have a hard time keeping a straight face.

You must be a lot older than I because I cannot relate to that problem.

Agreed. Meanie's last post sets a new low, and for this place, that's saying something.

No, he simply used the empirical, scientific method to determine if an urban myth could have any substance. His personal experience revealed it's highly unlikely anybody could pull off that allegation.

That's not what Mrs. Archaea told me.

Prude.

You shouldn't be sleeping with Mrs. Archaea, we don't believe in those sort of things. Now she must speak with her bishop.