Help for Sex-Starved Wives
 

http://www.time.com/time/health/arti...728520,00.html

So much for Archaea's lamenting and the MASP label ... it's as much a problem with men as women.

Where in the article is it articulated that the problem is equivalent for women?

"Unless they get help, they often can. The other thing that happens is the person with the higher desire just lives their life in lonely misery. More men than women complain about not getting enough sex, [but] the difference between the two genders is not nearly as great as the general public believes. Low desire in men has got to be America's best-kept secret.

I teamed up with Redbook magazine to survey women about what goes on behind closed bedroom doors. Over 1,000 women responded, [and] 60% of them reported that they wanted at least as much, if not more, sex than their husbands. What was also interesting, but not surprising, is that the vast majority of men who experienced low sexual desire were completely unwilling to talk with their wives, go to a doctor or go to a therapist. In a culture that equates masculinity with virility, it's no wonder that these guys are tight-lipped.

So, what happens in these marriages is that women feel exasperated because they are incredibly lonely. They feel isolated. When someone is more highly sexed, the person who has less desire really thinks it's just about having an orgasm. [But] to the more highly sexed spouse, it is truly about feeling wanted and loved and emotionally connected."

I don't believe it. And that evidence doesn't sound like a peer reviewable study. But okay, she said it.

Yeah well, besides that quote where does it say that? I got your back Arch.

Aaaachoo...<bullshit>oooooo!

Hey, don't blame me if y'all can't connect emotionally with your wives!

I've seen a load of studies and this is the first "discussion point" where it has ever been mentioned that women are sex starved. As MRD says, BS!

A guy would have sex every day, morning and night. Not true for loads of women, especially those bitter things called "older-than-forty-year-olds".

Who says we want to connect emotionally.

You have to admit your protests are excessive!

I'd just like to point out that the woman responsible for this book's last name is WEINER. I think that adds a whole new light to the story.

I know of a few guys that don't enjoy sex, and whose wives would be thrilled to have sex more than a handful of times a year.

A friend of mine told me once he's perfectly happy not having sex. I know that's not quite the same thing as being unwilling to do it, but it still shows there's differences in the libidos of different men.


In short, I don't think it's a cut-and-dry "All men would have sex as often as their wives want it." Nor do I think 60% of wives have a hard time getting their men into the sack for some R&R.

In fact, I'd be willing to bet that if the average man would stop masturbating to porn all the time, that very few women would have issues with sexual frequency.

No, no, no, I truly do "got your back." I think the author might be regretting her decision to marry a closeted gay man.

I've never such men. They must be gay men. Or old and tired.

Now the price of sex is high, so some may think, "hell, at this cost I can satisfy myself for free." At some point, even the finer things in life are too pricey. I'd love to have a Murcielago, but not at the price for which they sell.

Perhaps she drove him to be gay. He took one look at her and shriveled.

I subscribe to the "Goldfinger" theory of homosexuality. If you've never read the book Pussy Galore is a raging lesbian, a fact to which the movie merely hints. At the end James brings her over to the side of righteousness and light by screwing the hell out of her to which she responds by telling him that the only reason she was a lesbian in the first place is because she's never been with a real man.

To Arch's point, I imagine the same might apply to a man if his woman was unpleasing to the eye.

The idea that all men have exactly identical libidos is ludicrous. Testosterone-level disorders, for one, would have a serious affect on one's drive. Check this out.

Similarly, a friend of my parent's actually got divorced because his wife was requiring sex 5-6 times a day, and the guy was literally being sexed to death. Meanwhile, the average woman truly desires sex what? Once a week, tops?


Personally, I don't think I'd enjoy having sex 3+ times every day.

You don't happen to have her number do you? I'm a pretty good listener and together we might be able to work through this problem.

She should have no problem getting dates.

Yeah, it's a problem I'd like to work on. What again honey?

Let's see how one would schedule that.

Early in the morning before workout. Once at lunch. Once right after getting home. Once after kids fall to sleep. And a couple times midnight.

First I'm not buying it. but if you're not joking and she's hot, what's her number.

Dude, seriously, this sounds pathetic. You are WAY desperate.

In reality I don't believe any wife is trying to have sex six times a day, as the scheduling problem makes it impractical. You could not be productive if you had it that often. Perhaps on vacation but during a normal day too many other things interfere.

So this post sounds like a Sooner Coug post.

Maybe it wasn't with him every time.

This was a guy my dad worked with in the Boise, ID area before I was born. My guess is she's in her 60's now (maybe 70's). I wouldn't be surprised if she went on to have multiple partners, contracted a disease, and has passed on.

Basically, that schedule was pretty accurate. Once or twice in the morning, she'd make him go home for 'lunch' for a round, then 3+ times after work. My dad never told me any other details than that, but I'd imagine a woman like that would be waking up to go at it in the middle of the night.


I know it's fun to fantasize about that sort of 'problem', and it would certainly be fun, for a time, but I don't think very many men would really be looking forward to repeating this every single day.

I think I'd invest in a few toys to keep her happy when I really wasn't in the mood.

Hence the divorce. Can you imagine trying to get all the things you want to get done done when your wife is interrupting you every 90 minutes to get it on?

You're welcome to 'buy it' or not at your whim. The fact is, there are women who desire sex more than most men. Sure, it's probably not common, and I daresay in the vast majority of marriages, the wife has no problem getting at least as much sex as they desire. That still doesn't make your denial of the existence of the sex-starved wife legitimate.

This whole thread makes me wonder what a normal amount would be.

From Archaea's posts, it is obvious that he is getting close to zero, and has been that way for years. Your example of the crazy wife would be on the opposite side of the spectrum.

What is the average amount for a couple? Do we have any Masters and Johnson experts on the board?

Looks like a good poll question.

I don't think it's particularly healthy to put too much import into sexual frequency. There's a lot of surveys out there - here's an example. I've heard everything from a few times a month for a couple who've been married 5+ years to a few times a week.

I think it's important to find a balance between you & your partner. If you're really lucky, your level of desire will be fairly compatible with your spouse's. When it's not, both sides should be making compromises to the other's needs.

Even when you are on a pretty level playing field with your spouse, there are a lot of things that can affect the libido for a period of time. For example, childbirth and breastfeeding can dramatically decrease libido in women. That can cause some temporary tensions in a marriage unless you're open & honest with each other & willing to compromise.

All the Viagra and Cialis commercials I see on TV tell me there are plenty of men out there who are having some problems in the sack. Which means there are plenty of women not getting any.

Do the Enzyte commercials tell you that too many men are insecure about the size of their manhood?

If such a woman ever existed, she is not normally balanced, because although guys who are irresponsible might dream of that level of activity, most of us have other things which we desire to accomplish.

Why do people like Triplet always project onto a post? Well, you must not be getting ... bullshit for a fuck head.

Projection via the internet is lame.

I haven't seen an Enzyte commercial. However, if my spam folder is any indication of how many men feel about the size of their manhood, then yes, it must be a rampant problem.

I don't think there's any debate that a woman who demands that much sex is unbalanced. Hell - a MAN who demands THAT much sex is unbalanced.


The point is, there IS a fraction (and I don't care to debate the size of that fraction) of marriages involving a woman who has a higher libido than her partner. Denying the existence of this circumstance doesn't conform to your usual level of intellectual honesty I've observed over the last two months.

lol. Maybe it's the Extenze commercials I've seen lately. One of them has the guy grinning with the 'whistle' music going in the background. They're pretty humorous - I especially liked the one involving golfing.

The other has a bunch of people who keep using the phrase "that certain part of a man's body", along with a bunch of cheeseballs proclaiming the efficacy of the drug.


There are many men who suffer from ED. ED and libido don't necessarily coincide. Some men really want to get it on, and simply can't get it up.

Very aggressive move. Impressive.

*thinks for a minute*

I will see your Freudian projection referece and raise you one accusation of blatant Nietzsche "counter-projection"

I do it when I really want to irritate people. It's a trolling technique.

FWIW, the only thing I've 'projected' onto you is that you haven't had experiences involving a woman who wanted sex more often than her male partner.

I'm starting to wonder what my frequency of posting on this topic means. Maybe I'll sound off.

There are outliers and anybody requiring that much, is definitional unbalanced and unhealthy, male or female. However, hyperbolic my trolling statements are they are tinged with truth, in that, in the bulk of quasi-healthy marriages, the male libido greatly outweighs the female libido. It is probably an evolutionary device, to bind the male to the female and to ensure procreation and perpetuation of the species. Has society reshaped the female libido and are the hormonal changes which can upset the balance, indubitably?

The projection comment was directed toward triplet not you.

What is a Enzyte commercial?