Pig roast
 

I'm attempting to roast a pig for the first time.

I'm going to use an above-the-ground oven/grill made out of cinder blocks. Pig butterflied over a grill made of rebar and bailing wire. Aluminum foil over the pig, and on the inside of the grill to retain heat. Charcoal providing indirect-ish heat.

I've ordered a remote digital meat thermometer. Have ordered a 50lb pig. Starting small. One, I didn't exactly feel like spending $250 on just the pig. After all, it's going to be expensive enough, and this is for a church party, and the budget for this is directly out of my pocket.

Just the material for this "oven" is going to be near $140 or so. Which isn't too bad, given that most other cooking solutions for roasting a whole pig are much more expensive. Someday I would like to rotisserie a pig, but that's a whole different thing.

Proceeding. Pig defrosted. Injected with mojito (cuban marinade). Outside of skin salted with kosher salt.

[My wife: "I think we don't have enough kosher salt." Me: "That's ok. I don't think we'll have many Jewish folks over who will be wanting to eat pork." Is that funny? Offensive? You gotta be so careful with the Jewish jokes, even when the context is that it's going to be a Mormon party, and probably not any Jews in the first place. The day a religion can't be included in a joke is the day it becomes like the mullahs in Saudi Arabia].

So it's not French, it's a Cuban pig. Speaking of the French, I always thought they were the first to quit. Well, except for Tony Parker, of course. <rimshot.>

I'll be here all night.

Remember bow-tie guy who listens to Modest Mouse and is a vegetarian, in my ward? I had visited him in his home quite some time ago, and had brought up that I wanted to do a pig roast for part of a ward activity. He said, "That sounds great, IF you have vegetarian dishes as well." I had forgotten he was a vegetarian.

So I filed that away.

The other day I had my wife call them up, and invite them to the shindig, and to specifically say we would have a vegetarian dish for them. The reply was that he would rather not attend a gathering with something as "disgusting" as a whole roasted pig.

Bow-tie Modest Mouse guys are hard to please!

I discovered tonight that it is tiring to make 32 rebar ties with a pair of pliers. Back is killing me. Getting close to the pig cooking countdown....

Watch it! We are not!

But bow-tie Modest Mouse guys are very sexy!

Do you want me to get this guy's number for you?

He was very polite about it, and thanked me for making a vegetarian dish, but asked if I could understand why an event centered on roasting a whole pig might be less than desirable to him. And after seeing the completed pig today, yes I understood.

Is Bowtie guy a guy?

The TSA folks are going to let me know.