Our new secretary is full of crap
 

My boss hired a new lady to run the office a couple of weeks back, and I think she may be a compulsive liar. Today she claimed that a few years back, she was training to run the Olympic marathon and had to withdraw because of a foot injury. When I pressed her for details, she was unable to provide any. She couldn't even remember what Olympics she was training for.

What the crap???? Weirdo.

Is she hot?

We had a guy like that in our department several years back. He claimed to be on a Little League World Series championship team that actually did win from our area back in the 70's. But he couldn't tell me anything about the game and his age didn't match up. As the years passed he'd also played for several college football teams and almost made the pros. Kind of sad really.

Uh...no. If she were at least pretty, I would be willing to overlook her tall tales. Since she is not, I must hold her accountable.

we had one of these guys on my mission. Made up stories of girls, sports exploits.

we knew the girl stuff wasn't true, because the picture he showed was actually the picture of an elder's sister, he had made it up.

those of us that knew didn't tell him we knew. He was otherwise likeable, and we didn't want him to know that we knew he was a total windbag dork. It would have hurt his feelings too much.

In my mission we had two Elders with the same last name. Their mail always got mixed up. I was serving with one of them at the time when my companion opened up this letter thinking it was for him. It turned out to be from a girl this other Elder with his last name was writing. Included were pictures of this girl and she was butt ugly. But the letter was hilarious. She congratulated him on becoming a zone leader and said that she knew it was just a matter of time before he was an AP. She then went on to thank him for the pictures he apparently sent her and she kept commenting on how handsome he was and how he looked like Brad Pitt. Anyway, we cracked up because this kid wasn't a zone leader or even a district leader for that matter. I don't even know if he was a senior companion at the time. And this kid looked as much like Brad Pitt as she did Angelina Jolie.

I had a buddy who told everyone on his mission that he played strong safety for Snow College. Everybody knew he was lying, and he knew they knew. That's what made it funny.

I think everyone has worked with people like that. I knew Steve was lying about everything because his story about riding in rodeos with Lane Frost would have occured the same time he claimed to be operating secret missions during Operation Desert Storm.

When Mason claimed to have been recruited to play football by Nebraska and Florida, it was obvious he was lying simply because he was the most slobbenly, uncoordinated lard I'd ever laid my eyes upon.

I had a Tongan buddy who was recruited to play football for Dixie, I believe. He said he went to a party afterwards, and the guys were lined up having a gang bang, that is, all the males (largely football players I think) were having sex with the same girl in open public. When he saw what was going on, he left. Decided not to play there.

I believed him.

I aslo believe that the things that have been reported about BYU in the police blotter and by the honor code police are merely the tip of the iceberg.

Well, the proverbial shiz hit the fan today, and the new secretary is now the ex-secretary. She was sacked.

In the past few days I learned that in addition to her Olympic Marathon pursuits, she earned her M.D. while in the Army, where she flew B52 Bombers. I didn't have the heart to tell her that the B52 is an Air Force plane. I also couldn't bring myself to ask her why, instead of putting her M.D. to good use, she's working for 12 bucks an hour as a secretary.

This poor lady obviously has something wrong. She was nice enough, but mentally, something's missing. Very weird. She told a woman in our company that her son has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I think I'm going to work at home for a few days.