What's your take?
 

My colleague here at work, a devout Catholic, is a good friend. She has been to Church with my family (when my wife spoke in Sacrament meeting). She has a crush on another conservative Catholic and was looking for an excuse to "ask him out," as in, "I'm going to dinner at my friend's house, want to come with?" I offered to host the dinner, even suggesting that she could come on Monday night for FHE and we could rope him in by reenacting Daniel and the Lions Den with my two boys -- the Spirit would move him to like her after witnessing such homespun goodness and virtue. She's excited by the idea and immediately accepts. More background: A very senior partner here at the firm is LDS.

Fast forward two days. We're chatting and I bring up FHE to confirm plans. She says, "come into my office and shut the door." These are her words, "Um yeah, so I was talking to Mike [an atheist Jew here at the firm], and he was wondering whether it would be a good idea to take Swimmer Boy [our nickname for her crush] to a Mormon's house. I'm not sure if he's comfortable around Mormons and so Mike wondered if that would be a good idea, and I agree with him."

I don't process this the first time around and she repeats. I then say, "Are you kidding me? You're saying you don't want to bring your friend to my house because I'm Mormon? Do you not realize that's like saying I don't want take my friend to your house because you're Catholic, even though I have no reason to believe that he would be squeemish by the fact that you're Catholic? It's a silly concern and you're giving credence to it by entertaining it. I think it's bullshit and I wouldn't think such beliefs and attitudes would exist here, and not especially by two people who were both educated at Yale Law School. I thought you'd be more enlightened than that, but I guess not. That's ridiculous."

She starts to cry, and I leave her office.

I overreacted. I know. But I'm pissed at the atheist Jew, who is also a friend, and at my friend for entertaining the concern.

Oh yeah, I also said, "Is your concern that we're going to read the Book of Mormon during FHE? How tactless do you think I am? I thought our whole plot was to stage a cute situation that would appeal specifically to him and loosen up his heart strings." This wasn't her concern. It was simply that we're Mormon.

What's your take?

I have no problem with what you did. People need to be called out for their religious bigotry. She may not be a bigot herself, but the guy who suggested she not go to your house certainly is.

You invited people over for FHE and discussed the Spirit being present with her. It's fair for her to back out. Sounds like you have too much invested in this.

You need to go into her office and apologize, but only if you are sure the apology will end in making out.

Be cautious.

We did not discuss the "Spirit" == it was a joke to highlight the purpose of the evening: pure emotional manipulation in order to pique this guy's interest. She knows what FHE is, loves the idea, and actuall asks me every Monday, "what are you guys doing for FHE tonight?" She delights in it.

And I want her to hook up with the guy b/c she's a friend and I think it would make her happy -- that's my investment. I could not care less whether they fall in love at my house or not. What I care about is the blatant prejudice she entertained and had the "class" to let me in on.

Two things: First, You shouldn't have gotten in the least emotional or defensive; you were boorish. Second, It should come as no surprise that most people in elite circles find Mormons who define themselves as such, whose identity is enmeshed with being Mormon, weird and even freaky. That is what you project; to quote you: "I offered to host the dinner, even suggesting that she could come on Monday night for FHE and we could rope him in by reenacting Daniel and the Lions Den with my two boys -- the Spirit would move him to like her after witnessing such homespun goodness and virtue." Freakish cubed!!

Learn from the experience and move on. I doubt you'll be able to patch things up wiht her but now's the time to try. It's your fault this happened trying to proseletize your bizarre, archaic faith in the work place. You and the girl are really immature. The only potential hero in this whole strange scenario is the atheist Jew who was possibly being a friend, trying to save the girl from losing a romance prospect she valued.

Please stick around here; you bring great material, even if fictional, like Waters and old Sooner.

Religious bigotry? You're infantile. He was inviting two Catholics over to try to convert them to his cult.

I am getting roundly criticized as being dishonest by SU and Pelagius.

Name two posters who are intensely jealous of me. Hint: there names are contained in this post.

I had some colleagues over for a house warming party. One came without his wife and later explained to me that "she just wasn't comfortable being with Mormons." He seemed embarassed for her (I think he was, after all, he came by himself), and said he would "try to drag her into the 20th century."

LOL! She visits my office daily to discuss Swimmer Boy and we try to concoct ways to get him interested in her. She knew about FHE already. And I never brought up the "spirit" -- it was an imprecise joke on my part in describing the deceit for you all. We joked like this: "He'll see two cute boys enacting Daniel and the Lion's Den, he'll be moved a little, he'll look at you at the moment of his softening, and wa-la: hooked." This had the last thing with trying to convert the two of them. In fact, there is no reason for him to have ever found out we were Mormon if he actually had come over. We don't make it obvious on our walls and coffee tables.