Why does my blender have 14 settings?
 

They all pretty much do the same thing. I haven't noticed any difference between "whip" and "shred."

Four minutes later and no responses. I can't believe it. I'm about to go SU on you.

Unless of course this means the entire board is as stumped as well. "Blend," "grate," and "liquefy" all seem to do the exact same thing.

That's because you're not testing the settings correctly. In order to test them correctly you need to feel with your fingers how fast the blades are spinning. Manual feel is the only true way of knowing the differences in blade speed.

I have never really noticed much more than a subtle difference in the speeds, but that was on a cheapo blender with 14 or 16 speeds.

Just bought a new blender and actually spent some money on it and it only has 5 speeds, and they kick ass. I love my new blender.

Because is spares people having to buy a Thesaurus.