I'm coming to the opinion that the most malignant people in the church
 

are back-biting women.

http://ldsliving.com/story/78969-lin...rd-awards-gown

It seems like most of the stories I hear of someone saying or doing something nasty to someone else in my ward involve a woman perpetrator.

Examples: woman bring dish for ward activity, made modifications to what was requested. Woman at church takes a look and throws it in the trash in front of said woman.

Another example. Member who recently reactivated after 20 years away from church. Goes to church regularly for a couple years, then gets serious cancer and is away for several months. Comes back to church and a woman makes a sarcastic comment about her attendance. Never came back.

Men are jerks and assholes too. But we usually don't say anything. We don't care that much. Maybe I'm wrong.

I believe a ward can only be as good as its women. If the women are tight, the ward is tight. If the women don't get along, the ward will have no social cohesion.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be a Mormon woman and not "fit the mold." You would get torn down so fast. Crabs in a barrel.

My wife is maybe a little unconventional but she would definitely agree with you. She has gone as far as to say to me from observing those she associates with inside and outside the church that she believes active LDS men are generally better than men outside the church. But she actually believes as a whole that active LDS women are worse than non-LDS. I don't know how true that is, but I think she has some compelling reasons. I think it's just that men who are the true jerks are much less likely to want to attend church, where women who are not really interested in being Christlike are more likely to still find other reasons to keep attending church.

It doesn't help LDS women that the men get chastised a lot by the leaders but women are almost always told how great they are with very little critiquing of any kind. When it does happen, it has to come from one of the women speakers at General Conference, and even then it's very rare.

I don't actually know the identities of the offenders in the examples that I related. I know the "victims." And these offenders are likely generally good people who had a weak moment. I get that.

Of course we understand that men lead. But I don't really think that is what happens on the ground. The women determine the culture, and the ward follows the culture.