Top 5 things to look for in a cycling buddy
 

5- Smack talk: I love the competative smack.
Favorite example: "Man, if you wanted to walk something I could have brought my dog."

4- Humor: Suffering can be fun!
Favorite example: "If you collapse, try to do it near a big rock. I didn't bring my gun to put you out of your misery and I'm not dragging you back to the car. Pick one that looks good for bludgeoning."

3- Vigilance: Sometimes we need to be saved from our own stupidity.

2- Similar Stature: I love it when a buddy trades up for better gear and sells you his old stuff for cheap.

1- Money: This goes hand in hand with #2. The more money the friend has, the better the 2nd hand gear.

You forgot an important one, a bigger, better bike rack so that he drives.

The best type is a single guy with lots of money, nice SUV, with a great bike rack.

It doesn't hurt if he is loved by the ladies, so that you can look upon his leftovers.

I also forgot "large ass"

I hate riding with my "little" friend. 5'8" 155 lbs... I just don't seem to get much of a draft off of him.

I like riding with my other friend 6'1" 220. It's like being towed.