[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by Chapel-Hill-Coug

I think and hope that this is changing, though (and I think it shouldn't be a problem IN EITHER DIRECTION). While I know there are still several who would divorce an unbelieving spouse (I've talked through the logic with some family members who fall into this camp), I think it is much better than it used to be. A few years ago my wife came through the other side of a tough ordeal telling me she would never come back to church again, hadn't believed for years, and only now had the courage to tell me so. At the time I was fully active (I'm not now, which has nothing to do with her change of heart), but was surprised at my reaction. I was fully supportive and only asked her that she please keep her name on the records (I don't know why I cared about that but I did), and she agreed. At that time I realized that there is a disconnect between the explicit teachings of the church on the matter and the implicit connections members make between church doctrinal teachings and the impulse to divorce an unbelieving spouse. While I have seen enough of this kind of thing (eg people questioning why I would stay with my wife) to know that for many in the church family really doesn't come first, I still think as the church continues it's mainstream makeover (in terms of application of doctrine), this issue is and will become less a problem in the future. I for one would like to see mormonism become more of a 'big tent'.

I would like to point out though, that in your scenario, I think it would be unfair of the believer to pay tithing without coming to an agreement about it with the unbelieving spouse. But I don't see why the difference in belief per se should pose an insurmountable problem *in either direction*. (When my wife left the church, she also supported my activity in it, after all, and I'm glad she did).

Thanks for your thoughtful comment, CH. I'm lucky I never had to deal with at least complications such as these. Yes, I agree that as the LDS Church matures and grows more mainstream there will have to be greater tolerance for diversity of faith within families. One thing your post dosen't touch on is insensitivity of the extended family for unbelieving inlaws or of a different faith or even a brother or sister or son who doesn't believe or has changed faiths.