Originally Posted by RockyBalboa
I learned my lesson about taking a gal to a football game with me.
I meet someone really cool, she's lots of fun...and she keeps on bugging me..."I want to go to a game with you...please...pretty please....blah, blah, blah...."
I finally relent and say fine,,,but that she has to be willing to agree to a couple of rules:
#1 -- She cannot make me late.
#2 -- She must wear blue. I don't care if it's not something BYU,,,so long as it's blue.
She agrees....and then of course the nightmare begins.
I go to pick her up....and she's still in bed. I wake her up....and then she takes FOREVER to get ready. She keeps on changing her jeans worried which ones are going to match with the blue top she's chosen to wear for the game.
I'm being patient....REALLY trying to be patient,,,,,trying really hard......finally I knock on her door..."Hey....we need to get on the road"....her response..."Okay...I'll be out in a sec..."
Then she comes out...."How do I look?"......My response..."You look great."
We get in the car....then she does the..."Oh I forgot my hair pin.."
"Your forgot your what?" "My hairpin so that I can put my hair up during the game.."
She jumps out of the car...and I wait leaving the motor running. 5 minutes pass by,,,10 minutes pass by,,,15 minutes pass by.....I turn the car off and go inside to see what's taking so long, and heaven forbid...tragedy of all tragedies occurs...she can't find it......Then she starts wondering again whether she's wearing the right jeans again, so she starts changing again...then on the way out I notice she's wearing high heels.......I say...."Your feet are going to get REALLY sore....we're just going to a football game.....you might want to wear some sneakers or flip flops instead."
She re-buffs that idea........About 2 hours after showing up her at place....we finally get on the road.....halfway down to provo she starts complaining about how hungry she is. I'm still trying to be patient. I tell her to hold on for just a bit as we're almost at the tailgate that we were supposed to be at 2 hours ago. She gives me a dirty look.
We get to the tailgate...I introduce her to my friends....for the first 15 min or so things are going great...she's fitting in just fine, we're all eating, hanging out and having a good time. Time comes for us to pack things up and head over to the stadium.
She starts to complain she has to go pee really bad. I tell her....we'll go once we're inside the stadium. She stops dead in her tracks as if the look of horror on her face is beyond anything she's ever comprehended and goes..."I'm not going to bathroom in a place where there's so many people...that's disgusting." I say..."well there's a burger joint right there and there's a gas station right there.....take your choice." She refuses insisting that "Those places are too dirty.."
Now I'm finally starting to lose my patience with her......and I say...."Well there's a bush right over there if you wanna go squat down" She gets mad at me and starts to cry a little bit and says..."Hey...I'm trying okay....don't give me attitude..." I roll my eyes and then say...."okay...what do you want to do? Kickoff is in 15 minutes."
I tell her about a Macey's grocery store about a ten minute walk away just through the neighborhood across the street.....amazingly she's okay with this but wasn't okay with going potty in the stadium, burger joint or gas station......at this point I'm so frazzled with her irrational thought process regarding going to pee...I'm just like "fine....let's go".
We walk over...she does her business and we start walking over to the stadium. We get in with about 5 minutes left in the first quarter. I'm already in a bad mood and she can tell. She starts doing the lame pussyfoot thing..."honey....you mad at me?" I just tell her..."Look..let's just enjoy the game and have a good time,,okay?"
Things go fine til about 10 min left in the 3rd quarter....She says..."I have to go pee again.." I say..."Okay.....I'll still be here." She goes..."Okay I'll be back in a bit."
Guys,,,,I shit you not.....she walked all of the way out of the stadium, down the street and back to the Grocery store to go to the bathroom again.
It was nearly the end of the game and she hadn't shown back up...I'm calling her on her cell phone...she's not answering and I'm obviously worried, but then thinking at the same time that "Well she went to school here, I'm sure she just ran into some old friends, girlfriends,,,whatever and is just chatting away..." I'm thinking..that's fine by me....I can enjoy the game without her asking me every 10 seconds "Why do they line up like that?" "Why are the uniforms different colors from the pants and shirts?"
Nope...turns out....the reason why she didn't show back up til the end of the 4th quarter.....was because her friend called her on her cell phone with a "fashion emergency" and apparently she got into a huge argument with her roomate over her borrowing one of her purses. And also because her feet were hurting her from wearing high heels to a football game. Of course this is where saying "I told you so" only pisses her off.
She showed back up with 45 seconds left in the game.
The whole drive home I barely uttererd a word while listening to the post game show. She hits a button and puts on music and goes..."I'm sick of football...no more today." I hit the button back to the sports station and quietly say..."Honey.....now do you see why I don't bring a girl to a football game?"
And of course now I'm the asshole for the rest of the evening because I was honest. lol.
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