View Single Post
Old 12-12-2007, 07:26 PM   #5
jay santos
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,177
jay santos is on a distinguished road
Default

A few thoughts.

1. I think the a-hole father thing is a bit of an exaggeration. Parents are expected to care about their kids and use their influence to improve their status. Being involved in their life is not being an a-hole, whether it be school, sports, church, dance, employment, etc.

2. "Play politics". As a youth I used to play victim to the politics in sports thing and complain about how this other kid's dad is friends with the coach or gives money to the program, whatever. As an adult I realize this is how the world is run. Playing politics and forming alliances is part of the game of life. Who you know is as important as what you know. Go ahead and play politics and teach your kids it's usually better to be part of the system than fight it. Schmooze your kids' coaches. Make friends with the power brokers rather than try to compete with them. In a situation like that, you might do better hanging out at practice, offering to help out as an assistant, do your BRT'ing with the guy before you do anything else.

3. Squeaky wheel gets the grease. A coach usually knows when things aren't equitable. He already knows the parents are pissed. He probably expects calls or emails from parents. As a coach, sometimes I would play a kid more than another kid just because I knew the one kid's parents would bitch and the other one would fade in the background.

I would probably recommend waiting longer to get more data points, and in the mean time get involved as much as you can and BRT with the coach, and be ready to tactfully with no emotion have a discussion with him on playing time philosophy when the time comes. Then if it's not working and you feel like it's important, I'd turn up the heat.

I have my kids' teachers, coaches, church leaders, etc. on speed dial and constantly intervene. And despite playing an a-hole on the internet frequently, I'm known as a good guy to these people, I promise.
jay santos is offline   Reply With Quote