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Originally Posted by SoCalCoug
Here are my thoughts:
When the letter from the first presidency about the gay marriage amendment was read from the pulpit, it just happened to be on the Sunday my entire family was together at my parents' ward for my youngest brother's mission report. This included my gay brother, who was at church for the first time in years. I'm sure he felt very welcome.
In my view, there is way too much of "hating the sin" and very little "loving the sinner" in the church. Prejudices against homsexuality among church members are a large part of what led my brother to deny the feelings he was having, and never discuss them with family or church leaders when he first started struggling with them. Had he done so, his situation might be different now. Instead, he struggled with his homosexuality for years in silence, and drifted farther and farther away from the gospel spiritually, until when he finally admitted that he was gay, he already felt distanced from the church and the church members. By the time he admitted to himself that he was gay, it didn't make a lot of sense for him to fight to come closer to a church which constantly told him that what he was feeling was a sin, and that he was a sinner.
This is someone who was an A.P. on his mission, taught gospel doctrine with me in our single's ward, and was called to be an Elder's Quorum President, even as he was coming to the realization that he is homosexual, and was struggling with his testimony because of that. Although he tended to get in more trouble than me, and was a little rebellious at times, he was far from a bad kid growing up.
He dated lots of girls, and even came close to being engaged on a couple of occasions. Being gay was definitely not a choice he made. People in the church seem to be so convinced that being gay is a result of sins you committed, or of choices you have made. Therefore, homosexuals are sinners. How does someone struggling with the discovery that they are gay feel welcome in the church, or feel grateful for a gospel that seems to say he is a bad person for feeling how he does? My brother's a year younger than me, and we grew up together. I know him better than I know anyone else in the world, and I know that his being gay is not the result of any choices he made in his life.
So now here he is, realizing that he is gay. He is told through the church that he is a sinner, he is a pervert, and he will never have the opportunity to get married and have a family, things that are necessary for eternal life. Some of you guys are single adults - you know how hard it is in family wards when you're single. Add the fact that he's gay and can you really blame him for not staying active in the church?
Rationalize as you will, you have to admit that the church is anti-gay. Homosexuals simply are not welcome in the LDS community. The "hate the sin but love the sinner" philosophy is pure bullshit in practice. I understand the principle, and have no problems with it. In practice, however, it provides an excuse for church members to discriminate against homosexuals and drive even those who want to be a part of the church away from it. There is simply a growing hatred among church members for homosexuals, and I think it's a destructive thing. Why would anyone work to be a part of a church that hates them?
The gay marriage amendment is nothing more than a desparate attempt by the Republican party to galvanize its conservative base, which has been damaged by the ineptness of the Bush administration. The proponents in the government know it will never pass. It's an election-year grandstanding attempt, and nothing more. It's a way to feed on the prejudices and hatred of the religious conservatives, and demonize the "liberal" democratic party.
I will vote for the amendment because my church leaders have (in a thinly-veiled manner) instructed me to do so. On a legal basis, I think the proposal is misguided, and I think it emphasizes that the principles behind it are contrary to the Constitution. I think it's ironic that it is the Republican party that is so gung-ho about changing the Constitution in this regard. It's completely self-serving and political, and it will change nothing, other than to galvanize the conservatives in the country more strongly against homosexuals.
As things like this continue, it will be more and more difficult to keep church members struggling with homosexuality in the church. If that's what you want, I hope you someday answer to them for it.
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