[nikuman]

I had tickets to the 'stros game last night and went with bunch of buddies about my age, give or take 3 years or so. Got home about 10:00 or so, just in time to see the Lakers come back and beat the Spurs. So generally a good night all around.

As I'm getting ready to go to bed, I notice that VH1Classic (a favorite stop of mine) is showing one of the Unplugged shows from the "old" MTV days. I missed out on those the first time (my parents wouldn't have let me watch MTV even if we would have been able to get it) so I tuned in. I had the Nirvana Unplugged and Alice in Chains Unplugged CDs in my late HS years, and they both remain as all-time favorites.

The one last night was the Nirvana show. Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that was the one that really introduced the world to the Unplugged concept as it was then in existence. It was also pretty groundbreaking at the time, I remember.

Backing up a step: I can still remember the first time I heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit." In my room, about 10:30 at night, radio turned down low so Mom couldn't hear, lying in bed. Piece of crap late model ghettoblaster type with removable speakers and short-wave radio capabilities. My reaction was something between jaw agape and "Daaaaaamn!" Without intending to be too crass about it, it was like everything I had ever listened to prior to that was nothing but mild necking and I had just all of a sudden lost my musical virginity. (I wouldn't have formulated that simile at the time, mind you).

Back to last night: There were a few things that I missed about Nirvana (and Cobain specifically) back in the day that seem so obvious now. Like, for example, the fact that KC was depressed out of his skull. Entire forum with black drapes, odd moodlighting, burning candles - a complete gothic funeral. Heavy use of raspy angst and nonchalant apathy (?) in his voice. Song line up that couldn't have spoken more to a focus on low self-worth and no hope in the impending afterlife ("Lake of Fire," "Jesus Don't Want Me for a Sunbeam," "All Apologies," etc.).

I don't wonder anymore why his/their music was such a revelation to me as a kid. It's how I felt (although I had the run-of-the-mill teenage depression, not the clinical variety). Sadly, his method of release was heroin, which wasn't exactly helpful (a good shrink might have been better? Maybe a kind word?).

I personally think that the value and greatness of his/their music (to me, anyway), and was especially apparent in the Unplugged performance, is that they were singing with real emotion, using music (lyrics and tunes) display their/his personal turmoil. It was authentic. Cobain was nowhere near the guitarist that so many others were/are, but was more genuine in feeling than the songs dealing with bagging some hot chick that were so common in the metal of the previous era (which is not to say that all songs were so shallow). If you take away that depression, you take away the brilliance of the music.