[jay santos]

Originally Posted by Levin

My colleague here at work, a devout Catholic, is a good friend. She has been to Church with my family (when my wife spoke in Sacrament meeting). She has a crush on another conservative Catholic and was looking for an excuse to "ask him out," as in, "I'm going to dinner at my friend's house, want to come with?" I offered to host the dinner, even suggesting that she could come on Monday night for FHE and we could rope him in by reenacting Daniel and the Lions Den with my two boys -- the Spirit would move him to like her after witnessing such homespun goodness and virtue. She's excited by the idea and immediately accepts. More background: A very senior partner here at the firm is LDS.

Fast forward two days. We're chatting and I bring up FHE to confirm plans. She says, "come into my office and shut the door." These are her words, "Um yeah, so I was talking to Mike [an atheist Jew here at the firm], and he was wondering whether it would be a good idea to take Swimmer Boy [our nickname for her crush] to a Mormon's house. I'm not sure if he's comfortable around Mormons and so Mike wondered if that would be a good idea, and I agree with him."

I don't process this the first time around and she repeats. I then say, "Are you kidding me? You're saying you don't want to bring your friend to my house because I'm Mormon? Do you not realize that's like saying I don't want take my friend to your house because you're Catholic, even though I have no reason to believe that he would be squeemish by the fact that you're Catholic? It's a silly concern and you're giving credence to it by entertaining it. I think it's bullshit and I wouldn't think such beliefs and attitudes would exist here, and not especially by two people who were both educated at Yale Law School. I thought you'd be more enlightened than that, but I guess not. That's ridiculous."

She starts to cry, and I leave her office.

I overreacted. I know. But I'm pissed at the atheist Jew, who is also a friend, and at my friend for entertaining the concern.

Oh yeah, I also said, "Is your concern that we're going to read the Book of Mormon during FHE? How tactless do you think I am? I thought our whole plot was to stage a cute situation that would appeal specifically to him and loosen up his heart strings." This wasn't her concern. It was simply that we're Mormon.

What's your take?

You invited people over for FHE and discussed the Spirit being present with her. It's fair for her to back out. Sounds like you have too much invested in this.