The marriage question is a loaded one. People are too dynamic and there are too many variables to give a generic answer that either yes or no fits even a majority of cases.
I have seen studies for and against cohabitation, and I have also known many couples that have gone done the cohabitation path before marriage.
My personal experience says it doesn't help a marriage succeed any better than those who wait until after marriage when the couple is getting into it for the right reasons.
People who marry for the wrong reasons won't succeed no matter if they cohabitate or not before marriage.
I think the whole idea of cohabitation before marriage reflects the selfish attitude, whereas marriage should be a good part self-less.
My sister in law has lived with her boyfriend for nearly 10 years. They have split up and gotten back to together many many many times. They talk about getting married as if it was just a pointless detail that will complicate their lives, in which case I certainly hope they DO NOT get married because that'll make things ten times worse. That is, unless they change their whole attitude about it.
|