[ute4ever]

It was my observation that many of my co-missionaries never wanted to serve in the first place, but did so anyways because either:

1) It was expected of them, and they were pressured into it. Like joining scouts, or going to prom, etc., it's what their friends were doing, coupled with what their iron fist fathers told them they were going to do.

2) They needed something to do with their lives for 18-24 months. Sometimes people join the military for the same reason. (Don't tell hot marine girlfriend I said that. She'll kick my ass).

Some examples from the good old Arkansas Little Rock mission:

a) Elder A was there because his uncle promised to buy him a new truck if he went. He never enjoyed the work, put on 70 lbs, and wouldn't leave the apartment for more than 3 hours at a time.

b) 7 of 8 elders from one district were sent home for smoking pot at a district meeting, held in their apartment. It wasn't the first time they had done that, and their greenie ratted them out.

c) Sisters B and C were sent home for repeatedly spending their time at the liquor store and at the movies.

d) Elder D was sent home for having sex with one of the laurels.

e) Elders E and F used their church key to take home one of the tv's from the library, and used their monthly allowance renting movies and nintendos from Blockbuster. They lied about their numbers and managed to stay together for 4 months.

f) Elder G was sent home for having sex with his investigator in the church. If you wonder where his companion Elder Minnear was, probably at home looking at this Playboy subscription. I was transfered in to "clean" that area, and surprised to have his porn arrive in the mail.

g) Elders H and I both had girlfriends in Conway and would put their greenies together on weekend-long splits, then go out for long sleepover dates with their girls.

h) Elders J and K had a prized possession: their photo with the Hooters waitress lifting up her shirt. Neider was my zone leader at the time.

i) We had a mission-wide conference where our Area Authority, Elder Watts, came to speak. It lasted all day and I thought it was great. While driving home, the three elders in my car wanted me to stop at Hooters for dinner. "Don't be a pussy" Elder L said.

j) Elder M had photos of he and three others celebrating his 21st birthday with a 20-pack of Budweiser.

k) Elder N said he had been inactive for the 9 months preceeding his mission farewell. He commenced his mission by refusing to work after 5pm, and none on weekends. He managed to get through six months and four companions, who apparently liked the schedule, until I was his comp and he was sent home. (He was my follow-up trainer).

l) There are other examples that I don't have firsthand knowledge of, but are just rumors, like zone leaders frequenting a strip club in Memphis called Platinum Plus, or elders making out with girls in the singles ward.

Elders O and P devised a method of "teaching a first discussion" in twenty seconds. They would go to bus stops and say, "We're teaching a lesson about..." and hit on the six principles in the first discussion, and then ask if anyone was interested to hear more. If there were four people at that bus stop, they would count it as four discussions. Then they would go to lunch at Arby's, leave ten Books of Mormon on ten tables, and leave. One day of "work" = grossly inflated numbers (although honest in their minds), and spend the remaining six days of the week using their car milage allotment to go places and hang out.