I think the way many look at love comes stright from hollywood, that "catch and release" version that often celebrates ditching what you have for something more exciting and tantilizing....that is, until something more exciting, forbidden, etc, comes along. Look at Titanic or other classics such as American Gigolo :wink:
I think many married people here on this board would echo the fact that the "love" they felt when first married transforms dramtically over time. Looking back even over 4 short(long at times...jk) years, my love for my wife has grown many times over. It is easy to love early on, but when problems arise, true love is either discovered, or found to have never been there. I remember several of archea's posts talking about true comitment and love coming through if a spouse has issues, stops going to church, etc. I also recognize that in certain cases, divorce may be necessary. I do not look down on anyone who chooses that route, for I think, just like how many kids a couple should have or each of our personal lives, that is a choice that belongs to those involved.
That being said, remember your missions when you arrived wherever you were, you may have thought you loved the people, mainly because you felt you were supposed to say that. After two years or 1 1/2 years, you probably came away truly loving the people, much more than you professed as a greenie. The difference was probably a lot of prayer, service, concern, working through difficult times, in difficult circumstances, etc. I feel like the same applies to marriage. Love and happiness and worked for. I truly believe that. I think attraction, a gentle push by the spirit, acknowledegement of compatibilty, common interests, etc, and a little or a lot of lust are involved in our initial choice of spouse. Beyond that, it is a hell of a lot of work, but even more so than a mission, well worth it.
Hollywood would tell us that love should just be there, and once we feel like the "flame" is gone, there is no choice but to sleep with someone else whom you feel attracted to, lustful towards, compatible with, etc, see above....The problem is, there are literally thousands of people we could be married to, but when we pick one, true love and fulfillment only come by sticking to that one and working towards love and happiness....
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