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Originally Posted by Levin
Do you think that there are some women out there who make better mothers when they are able to work than if they stayed at home full time, resulting in a net benefit to the children? I do. Maybe that's why in some families both parents work.
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Sounds like load of crap to me, and an excuse to not stay home. However, if the mom truly cannot handle staying home, then the dad can stay home with the kids. Either way, if whoever works can do their fair share in helping with the kids when they are home, and the parent that stays home is given opportunities to get out of the house on weekends, etc. MOST level headed people should be able to cope.
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But then, you ask, why doesn't the father stay at home? Well, because he too is a better parent when he's able to work (the self-confidence that comes with providing for the fam, the adult interaction, the creative productivity at work, etc.).
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Solution is simple...don't have kids! If you are going to both choose to work, when you don't need to, that is just being selfish. People out of the Church choose not to have kids all the time because they are too busy working, playing, travelling, etc. At least they don't have kids, and leave their rearing to someone else. If you're not willing to sacrifice, especially during the first few years of your children's lives, then don't have them.
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But I also believe that children build up huge emotional reserves when they have a parent raise them full time, even if that parent gets cranky, irritable, and at times depressed from the isolation and frustrations that can come with staying at home.
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Agree.
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Which situation is better for children: (1) both parents work, both parents happy; (2) one parent works, stay-at-home parent unhappy.
Perhaps you think the stay-at-home parent should just suck it up and things will get better. Let's say that parent perseveres and comes to tolerate/like being at home. What about when that parent is 60 and they get the huge ache that comes with wasted talent and unfulfilled dreams? The ache will come.
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No, I disagree with your premise that situation 2 must exist. I disagree that there are people that could NEVER be happy staying home with their kids the first few years. Remember, I never said I believe BOTH parents should stay home full time until every kids is out of the house. This would also prevent your scenario of a parent at 60 having the ache of wasted talent. Although I don't know how anyone in their right mind can think that spending their time raising their kids was time wasted. Again, I go back to such people shouldn't have kids in the first place.
My wife is an extremely talented artist. She stays home full time now, but once the kids are all in school, she will start her own business and work while the kids are in school.