Julie Beck’s Mothers Who Know Pie
A subtle dash of single malt scotch whisky and tart cherries in the filling, plus an almost perceptible hint of hypocrisy, make this comforting pie unique. Serve with heavy screams for drizzling.
Servings: Feeds an entire congregation of non-thinkers
Crust
2 cups all purpose piety
3/4 cup heavy makeup
1 1/2 teaspoons condescension
3/4 cup ice cold eyes - cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1/4 cup (or more) ipecac syrup
Filling
1 conference center full of dried old tarts
2 bottles Scotch single malt whisky
230 to 250 pounds medium-size Golden Delicious oversized RS President butts (about 2), peeled, halved, cored, thinly sliced – save excess in Crisco cans
1/2 cup (packed) golden brown noses
2 teaspoons ground sins of omission
1 tablespoon beaten mormon wives with 1 tablespoon sugar (for home teachers)
Preparation
Reserve two tablespoons whisky. Drink remainder. Console self with the fact that real “Mothers Who Know” keep their heads high when they deal with less than perfect kids, and are forced to work outside of the home. Gather dough into ball. Divide in half. Shape into disks. Wrap in plastic and freeze 1 hour. Use as projectiles at the next RS craft meeting.
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