Being a bad representative of the faith - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

SoonerCoug · 03-14-2008, 05:58 AM

When I was in 10th grade, my high school foreign language class went on a bus trip from Utah to Topeka, Kansas to see an exhibit from Europe.

I wore a T-shirt that I bought at ZCMI. I figured it must be an appropriate shirt, since the Church owned ZCMI. It was a trendy basketball T-shirt with a stick figure that said: "HERE, HOLD MY TROPHY WHILE I KISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND." I didn't appreciate the potential sexual imagery at the time, as I had never even kissed a girl, much less won a trophy to give to someone to hold.

We stayed in a tiny rural Kansas town. As I got off the bus, my lesbian art history teacher said: "SoonerCoug, I'm really disappointed that a nice guy like you would wear a T-shirt like that. REALLY disappointed. You should be ashamed of yourself." In retrospect, I realize that she just had trophy envy.

I was met by a typical Baptist Kansas host family that was obsessed with my Mormonism. We seemed like big city folks to them. The dad was a high school English teacher who read my shirt as we walked to their car. He sarcastically/angrily said: "Your shirt is cute." The mom was a super obese lady who called me "honey" and kissed me on the forehead when I went to bed. Her friendly nastiness freaked me out so bad that I couldn't really sleep. The next day, they proceeded to interrogate me about polygamy and missions. This was my first real "out-of-Utah" encounter. I had traveled all over the country, but I had no idea how strange Mormonism seemed to most people.

This story has no point, other than the fact that I was ashamed that I wore a T-shirt that was sold to me by God's department store (ZCMI). No wonder the Church got rid of ZCMI.

YOhio · 03-14-2008, 06:04 AM

That's a funny story. I remember those shirts. I think they were And 1 or No Fear.

SoonerCoug · 03-14-2008, 06:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YOhio

That's a funny story. I remember those shirts. I think they were And 1 or No Fear.

Chump man.

Mormon Red Death · 03-14-2008, 01:55 PM

Too bad it wasn't a "big Johnson" t-shirt

My favorite was:

"Big Johnson Casino
Liquor up front
Poker in the rear"

03-14-2008, 05:58 AM	#1
SoonerCoug Formerly known as MudPhudCoug Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Land of desolation Posts: 2,548	Being a bad representative of the faith When I was in 10th grade, my high school foreign language class went on a bus trip from Utah to Topeka, Kansas to see an exhibit from Europe. I wore a T-shirt that I bought at ZCMI. I figured it must be an appropriate shirt, since the Church owned ZCMI. It was a trendy basketball T-shirt with a stick figure that said: "HERE, HOLD MY TROPHY WHILE I KISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND." I didn't appreciate the potential sexual imagery at the time, as I had never even kissed a girl, much less won a trophy to give to someone to hold. We stayed in a tiny rural Kansas town. As I got off the bus, my lesbian art history teacher said: "SoonerCoug, I'm really disappointed that a nice guy like you would wear a T-shirt like that. REALLY disappointed. You should be ashamed of yourself." In retrospect, I realize that she just had trophy envy. I was met by a typical Baptist Kansas host family that was obsessed with my Mormonism. We seemed like big city folks to them. The dad was a high school English teacher who read my shirt as we walked to their car. He sarcastically/angrily said: "Your shirt is cute." The mom was a super obese lady who called me "honey" and kissed me on the forehead when I went to bed. Her friendly nastiness freaked me out so bad that I couldn't really sleep. The next day, they proceeded to interrogate me about polygamy and missions. This was my first real "out-of-Utah" encounter. I had traveled all over the country, but I had no idea how strange Mormonism seemed to most people. This story has no point, other than the fact that I was ashamed that I wore a T-shirt that was sold to me by God's department store (ZCMI). No wonder the Church got rid of ZCMI. Last edited by SoonerCoug; 03-14-2008 at 06:08 AM.

03-14-2008, 01:55 PM	#4
Mormon Red Death Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Clinton Township, MI Posts: 3,126	Too bad it wasn't a "big Johnson" t-shirt My favorite was: "Big Johnson Casino Liquor up front Poker in the rear" __________________ Its all about the suit

03-14-2008, 06:04 AM	#2
YOhio AKA SeattleNewt Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 7,055	That's a funny story. I remember those shirts. I think they were And 1 or No Fear.