Funny stuff kids say - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

FMCoug · 02-04-2007, 04:53 PM

Thought this would be a fun thread. I've got tons of examples but I'll add one from the other night to get started

We were out to dinner with another family to celebrate the birthday of their five year old. She's opening presents and gets a diary from one of her sisters. She then exclaims:

"Awesome! My very own diarrhea!"

il Padrino Ute · 02-04-2007, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FMCoug

Thought this would be a fun thread. I've got tons of examples but I'll add one from the other night to get started

We were out to dinner with another family to celebrate the birthday of their five year old. She's opening presents and gets a diary from one of her sisters. She then exclaims:

"Awesome! My very own diarrhea!"

That's funny.

One time, when my oldest daughter was about 4 I did the "pull my finger" trick. Immediately after, she told me to pull her finger and when nothing happened, she said

"It's broken. I need a new battery for my butt."

The Borg · 02-04-2007, 05:48 PM

About the same time frame (4 years old or so)...we were explaining to my daughter about the pioneers, handcarts and how they carried all their stuff across the plains.

She then asked me how they didn't fall off the wings (of the airplane)!

Cute.

marsupial · 02-04-2007, 06:52 PM

Danimal is a psychologist and works at a VA. He is working on the substance abuse unit now.

The other day our 5-year-old in his prayer said, "And please bless Dad that he can help the soldiers to stop drinking coffee."

Probably the funniest exchange between him and me happened when he wasn't even 2 yet. He was on the potty and he said to me.

"Mom, you go pee pee on the potty?"

I said yes.

"Mom, you go poo poo on the potty?"

Yes.

"Mom, do you have a penis?"

No.

He thinks for a minute.

"Mom, go to the store and buy you a penis."

BarbaraGordon · 02-04-2007, 08:22 PM

My son has had some priceless ones but of course I wasn't smart enough to write them down so I've forgotten them all.

Most recently, when we took him to the Kids symphony concert, the orchestra was tuning up and then quieted down for the concertmaster to arrive, and my son said, quite knowledgeably and loudly, "This the part where the big fat guy comes out!"

The funniest, though, was a friend's daughter. She's one of those moms that teaches her infant sign language. (I was wayy too lazy for that approach.) So, they were at Wal-Mart, and her daughter saw a gigantic black man, and her daughter started pointing and making the sign for gorilla.

BarbaraGordon · 02-04-2007, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marsupial

He thinks for a minute.

"Mom, go to the store and buy you a penis."

Wow, what kind of stores do you guys shop at??

cougjunkie · 02-04-2007, 09:15 PM

This is a story from my boss' kid.

For christmas they bought his wife a digital camera, and his 4 year old was so excited to tell his mom what it was, and he just couldnt wait until christmas, so he kept asking his mom to guess and maybe he would tell her maybe not. So she grabs the package and starts guessing

"Can I cook with it?"

"No"

"Does it talk"

"No"

"Can I shake it?"

"Yes, but not to hard"

(mom starts to get a little clever, and she picks up the package above her head)

"What if i throw it against the wall.....(she goes in to a throwing motion)

"MOM! NOOOOOOOOOOO! ITS A CAMERA IT WILL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Insensitive PAP · 02-05-2007, 06:57 PM

My 3 year old daughter had a good one in the sacrament meeting yesterday. It's dead silent as the sacrament is being passed. Girls says in a Cartmanesque accent "Daaaddd, Jack punched me in the nipple".

Insensitive PAP · 02-05-2007, 07:03 PM

Oh yeah, another one.

11 year old daughter said the closing prayer in Primary yesterday. Finishes it up with, "please bless us that we'll have a fun time at the Superbowl party after Church. . ."

After, my 8 year old goes up to her and says, "I would have only blessed the Colts".

hyrum · 02-05-2007, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Insensitive PAP

Oh yeah, another one.

After, my 8 year old goes up to her and says, "I would have only blessed the Colts".

Based on the owner's comments in the Vince Lombardi Trophy award ceremony, apparently he feels that the Colts were blessed. Which is fine, I guess, except does that mean that the Bears were cursed, unrighteous or otherwise less worthy? But then coach Dungy assured us that both coaches and teams were Christian (whew!) as opposed to maybe the Raiders who we all know represents Satan?!

02-04-2007, 04:53 PM	#1
FMCoug Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Kaysville, UT Posts: 3,151	Funny stuff kids say Thought this would be a fun thread. I've got tons of examples but I'll add one from the other night to get started We were out to dinner with another family to celebrate the birthday of their five year old. She's opening presents and gets a diary from one of her sisters. She then exclaims: "Awesome! My very own diarrhea!"

02-04-2007, 05:48 PM	#3
The Borg Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 533	These are always such fun ones... About the same time frame (4 years old or so)...we were explaining to my daughter about the pioneers, handcarts and how they carried all their stuff across the plains. She then asked me how they didn't fall off the wings (of the airplane)! Cute. __________________ Hello......helloo.......HELLLOOO! Last edited by The Borg; 02-04-2007 at 05:51 PM.

02-04-2007, 06:52 PM	#4
marsupial Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I... Isn't it so fun to spell? Posts: 1,701	Danimal is a psychologist and works at a VA. He is working on the substance abuse unit now. The other day our 5-year-old in his prayer said, "And please bless Dad that he can help the soldiers to stop drinking coffee." Probably the funniest exchange between him and me happened when he wasn't even 2 yet. He was on the potty and he said to me. "Mom, you go pee pee on the potty?" I said yes. "Mom, you go poo poo on the potty?" Yes. "Mom, do you have a penis?" No. He thinks for a minute. "Mom, go to the store and buy you a penis." __________________ "Mormon men are inherently sexy..." -Archaea

02-04-2007, 09:15 PM	#7
cougjunkie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Utah Posts: 5,741	This is a story from my boss' kid. For christmas they bought his wife a digital camera, and his 4 year old was so excited to tell his mom what it was, and he just couldnt wait until christmas, so he kept asking his mom to guess and maybe he would tell her maybe not. So she grabs the package and starts guessing "Can I cook with it?" "No" "Does it talk" "No" "Can I shake it?" "Yes, but not to hard" (mom starts to get a little clever, and she picks up the package above her head) "What if i throw it against the wall.....(she goes in to a throwing motion) "MOM! NOOOOOOOOOOO! ITS A CAMERA IT WILL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ LINCECUM!

02-04-2007, 08:22 PM	#5
BarbaraGordon Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Gotham City Posts: 7,157	My son has had some priceless ones but of course I wasn't smart enough to write them down so I've forgotten them all. Most recently, when we took him to the Kids symphony concert, the orchestra was tuning up and then quieted down for the concertmaster to arrive, and my son said, quite knowledgeably and loudly, "This the part where the big fat guy comes out!" The funniest, though, was a friend's daughter. She's one of those moms that teaches her infant sign language. (I was wayy too lazy for that approach.) So, they were at Wal-Mart, and her daughter saw a gigantic black man, and her daughter started pointing and making the sign for gorilla.

02-05-2007, 06:57 PM	#8
Insensitive PAP Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 293	My 3 year old daughter had a good one in the sacrament meeting yesterday. It's dead silent as the sacrament is being passed. Girls says in a Cartmanesque accent "Daaaddd, Jack punched me in the nipple".

02-05-2007, 07:03 PM	#9
Insensitive PAP Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 293	Oh yeah, another one. 11 year old daughter said the closing prayer in Primary yesterday. Finishes it up with, "please bless us that we'll have a fun time at the Superbowl party after Church. . ." After, my 8 year old goes up to her and says, "I would have only blessed the Colts".