Are marriages relationships where resentment is bound to develop no matter what?

[Archaea]

Is it possible for marriage to be lasting and to avoid resentments carried over time?

[JohnnyLingo]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Is it possible for marriage to be lasting and to avoid resentments carried over time?

Arch, if your marriage sucks, go to a therapist or counselor or something.

Don't be so cheap you seek advice on a message board.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by JohnnyLingo

Arch, if your marriage sucks, go to a therapist or counselor or something.

Don't be so cheap you seek advice on a message board.

Have you ever heard of mindless banter asshole. Please go some place where you can add intelligence, wit or something of value, like a gallon of vasoline.

[SoonerCoug]

Originally Posted by JohnnyLingo

Arch, if your marriage sucks, go to a therapist or counselor or something.

Don't be so cheap you seek advice on a message board.

Spoken like an ignoramus who has never been married.

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

Spoken like an ignoramus who has never been married.

Johnny is gay; he can't get married except in a couple of states.

[Detroitdad]

Originally Posted by SeattleUte

Johnny is gay; he can't get married except in a couple of states.

and in a couple of Northern European countries.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Is it possible for marriage to be lasting and to avoid resentments carried over time?

It is absolutely not inevitable if you are willing to swallow your pride and so is your wife. Caveat: you have to be ready to lead by example in this department and be patient.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

It is absolutely not inevitable if you are willing to swallow your pride and so is your wife. Caveat: you have to be ready to lead by example in this department and be patient.

I'm not familiar with too many men who really carry resentments, but I'm familiar that most married women do. I'm trying to think of one over forty who doesn't carry resentments in any marriage I've ever observed. I can't find one. Something in the emotional make up of women causes them to resent and to build resentment to the detriment of everybody within the household, and it's an over forty phenomenom where it becomes so apparent.

[Surfah]

Originally Posted by Archaea

I'm not familiar with too many men who really carry resentments, but I'm familiar that most married women do. I'm trying to think of one over forty who doesn't carry resentments in any marriage I've ever observed. I can't find one. Something in the emotional make up of women causes them to resent and to build resentment to the detriment of everybody within the household, and it's an over forty phenomenom where it becomes so apparent.

I know I am newly married, but my wife is amazing. She holds zero resentments. It actually drives me nuts how she can just forgive and forget. If anyone has reason to be resentful towards another person, it is her. She's had some incredibly difficult circumstances to endure in her young life. She's a good example and I am learning a ton from her. I think it's possible under the prescribed counsel from UtahDan.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by surfah33

I know I am newly married, but my wife is amazing. She holds zero resentments. It actually drives me nuts how she can just forgive and forget. If anyone has reason to be resentful towards another person, it is her. She's had some incredibly difficult circumstances to endure in her young life. She's a good example and I am learning a ton from her. I think it's possible under the prescribed counsel from UtahDan.

Beware.

Don't let her do things for you, she will secretly resent that.

Do extra things for her and find how she wants to be loved.

But don't let her do things for you. Do your own laundry, do her laundry when you can, prepare meals, shop for her, the kids and yourself. Minimize what she does as she will resent every little thing she does. Trust me, women forget what you do, remember what they do and resent everything. Do not trust her not to resent the smallest kindness. Don't let her do those or you will regret it.