09-14-2007, 08:39 PM | #61 |
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I just want to let everyone know that i did have sex before i was married and my wife still loves me. It is possible dont give up hope, not everyone is like BDB. Also i do not have any emotional baggage either.
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09-14-2007, 09:14 PM | #62 | |
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Have I said somewhere that that I don't believe in repentance, the atonement, or that I would hang it over his head what he's done? I'm pretty sure I also didn't write anything in here about judging the repented, or gave any indication that it would personally be a problem for me? (I'm unsure whether or not it would be, I think that would depend entirely on how the other person has emotionally, mentally, & spiritually dealt with the experience. It's like dating a divorced guy, some of them cope with it, and move on, and some of them take a victim mentality and never get over it. There's no cookie cutter answer.) Personally I don't want to be married to someone who acts like it's some deep dark secret, and is going to tell me it's none of my business if I did ask. I'd say that demonstrates a pretty severe lack of trust in the other person's testimony in the atonement, and ability to love you for who you are. If you don't have trust, you don't have anything. Not everyone that has emotional baggage is even aware of it. (Which is in no way meant to insinuate that you are bogged down & unaware.) So, I don't think there's anything wrong with inquiring before you marry someone whether or not there is a past history. It's something that may seriously impact the relationship, and my experience has been that everyone feels better once it's out in the open anyway. It's really no big deal "have you had sex before" "yes...(this is where they tell you what they feel is relevant)" "So it's been taken care of?" "Yes." "Okay." Why would you want to marry someone that would have a problem with that conversation? |
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09-14-2007, 09:17 PM | #63 | |
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If somebody you cared asked in a caring way, one would likely disclose any past indiscretions. If somebody were acting like a peeping tom, then that would be a signal to stay away. What's done is done, and if somebody can't bear, better to know up front than later.
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09-14-2007, 10:13 PM | #64 | |
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And yes it is the other party's fault for being stupidly naive. Growing older unfortunately doesn't increase some people's common sense and or help with their naivety. Especially in LDS Dating. Ironically those who don't have any kind of sexual sin or experience in their past in regards to the age dating group I'm referring to...are typically the ones who have the most issues anyways.
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Masquerading as Cougarguards very own genius dumbass since 05'. Last edited by RockyBalboa; 09-14-2007 at 10:20 PM. |
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09-14-2007, 10:21 PM | #65 | |
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"Have we been commanded not to call a prophet an insular racist? Link?" "And yes, [2010] is a very good year to be a Democrat. Perhaps the best year in decades ..." - Cali Coug "Oh dear, granny, what a long tail our puss has got." - Brigham Young |
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09-14-2007, 10:22 PM | #66 | |
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However I include them into that age group I'm referring to. You might think it's a bold statement...no I don't have any data to back it up. Experience, common sense, and knowing many who are in this age range and predicament or who have been actually get this. It's not really that difficult to comprehend.
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Masquerading as Cougarguards very own genius dumbass since 05'. Last edited by RockyBalboa; 09-14-2007 at 10:24 PM. |
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09-14-2007, 10:26 PM | #67 | |
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Although ironically, I'd wager the transgression scale weighs heavier for divorcees than never-marrieds. That's just a hunch. EDIT: Just saw your edit. I understand what you're saying, but I have some experience in this realm as well. I don't think you're right, but I can't prove it.
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"Have we been commanded not to call a prophet an insular racist? Link?" "And yes, [2010] is a very good year to be a Democrat. Perhaps the best year in decades ..." - Cali Coug "Oh dear, granny, what a long tail our puss has got." - Brigham Young |
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09-14-2007, 10:32 PM | #68 | |
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Growing older may not help with some people's naivety, but apparently it will make others cynical and distrustful. |
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09-14-2007, 10:58 PM | #69 |
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The irony from that is so hilarious and obvious that I could point out why,,but to prevent the debate from growing,,,I'll refrain.
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Masquerading as Cougarguards very own genius dumbass since 05'. Last edited by RockyBalboa; 09-14-2007 at 11:01 PM. |
09-14-2007, 11:00 PM | #70 | |
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And of course you don't think I'm right..you tend to fall on the extreme religious side of things, so that's no surprise.
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