His shit doesn't stink

[OrangeUte]

Originally Posted by SeattleUte

I never fart. Eat whole fruits, and if you feel like farting go to the bathroom and purge. That's healthier living. It's not rocket science. Be a cow.

I think that's similar to what joseph smith said before penning the word of wisdom.

[livecoug]

When I was growing up, we weren't allowed to even mention the existence of farts, let alone laugh at them. I made the mistake, when I was very young, of laughing at my dad when he ripped a juicy bomb. I was sent to my room and given a lecture. Never laughed again at my dad's farts.

[DrumNFeather]

I tell you what I don't get...why farts before a power dump (dump that requires little to no wiping) stink horribly, but the dump itself has no odor...it has never made sense to me.

[smokymountainrain]

Originally Posted by BigFatMeanie

Cool - a fart thread!

The kids have to say "toot" (e.g. "Who tooted?") when my wife is around but when Mrs. Meanie ain't around I let the kids say "fart" just like everyone else in the world.

You just described my household to a 'T'.

[malapert]

This thread is a testimonial to the notion that bathroom humor afflicts all ages and never gets old.

[Runner Coug]

Originally Posted by livecoug

When I was growing up, we weren't allowed to even mention the existence of farts, let alone laugh at them. I made the mistake, when I was very young, of laughing at my dad when he ripped a juicy bomb. I was sent to my room and given a lecture. Never laughed again at my dad's farts.

I honestly don't remember my dad farting, not even once. I do remember we were on a road trip once, and he had to pull over and throw up. He spent the next half hour apologizing to us kids, he was so embarrassed. He's the most dignified guy I've ever met.

My mom on the other hand, used to rip em, then laugh along with us kids.

[RC Vikings]

Originally Posted by Runner Coug

I honestly don't remember my dad farting, not even once. I do remember we were on a road trip once, and he had to pull over and throw up. He spent the next half hour apologizing to us kids, he was so embarrassed. He's the most dignified guy I've ever met.

My mom on the other hand, used to rip em, then laugh along with us kids.

I'm not sure I ever heard my father or mother. My kids won't be able to say the same.

[BYU71]

We had our weekly poker game Tuesday. We just play for fun, no money is exchanged. There are eleven of us and we play alway at one guys house. His talk just sits there next to him and sometimes just smells the place up.

Tuesday I was in pain. The dog was good cover for me. That poor dog got yelled at numerous times.

[YOhio]

Originally Posted by BYU71

We had our weekly poker game Tuesday. We just play for fun, no money is exchanged. There are eleven of us and we play alway at one guys house. His talk just sits there next to him and sometimes just smells the place up.

Tuesday I was in pain. The dog was good cover for me. That poor dog got yelled at numerous times.

That reminds me of an old joke.

A teenage kid was going on his first date with a girl he really liked. He had heard some scary things about her dad, so he was pretty nervous. As he arrived at her house his stomach was doing flips and he was getting bad gas. Before the girl was ready, the girls dad pulled the boy into the living room to have a talk. During this talk, the boy just had to let out some gas for relief, so he silently let a little out.

"Blue!" The dad scolded the dog.

The boy saw his out. The dad thought Blue, the dog, was the culprit. He let out a little more.

"Blue!" The dog was again scolded. This was too good to be true, the boy thought. So he finally let it all out.

The dad had finally had enough. "Blue! Get away from him before he shits all over you!"

[BYU71]

Originally Posted by YOhio

That reminds me of an old joke.

A teenage kid was going on his first date with a girl he really liked. He had heard some scary things about her dad, so he was pretty nervous. As he arrived at her house his stomach was doing flips and he was getting bad gas. Before the girl was ready, the girls dad pulled the boy into the living room to have a talk. During this talk, the boy just had to let out some gas for relief, so he silently let a little out.

"Blue!" The dad scolded the dog.

The boy saw his out. The dad thought Blue, the dog, was the culprit. He let out a little more.

"Blue!" The dog was again scolded. This was too good to be true, the boy thought. So he finally let it all out.

The dad had finally had enough. "Blue! Get away from him before he shits all over you!"

Exact joke I was thinking of as guys were ripping on the dog.