Are marriages relationships where resentment is bound to develop no matter what?

[Surfah]

Originally Posted by Archaea

She won't be. You're naive; they all keep calculators in their heads. You must do more housework, never leave anything undone, make more money than they do and never expect them to do anything for you. I won't let my wife do a single thing for me any longer. I prepare my own meals, my own laundry and clean wherever I am.

You see, the only way you are even is if you do more and much more than she. Remember this as well, she will never forgive, but you must always forgive. It's not fair or even but that's how it will be most of the time. Early on in marriage is when they hide their resentments. Don't believe for one second she doesn't have resentments, you're just not noticing them.

We'll see I guess. Like UtahDan said, "I'll get back to you in another 8 years," too.

[Detroitdad]

Originally Posted by surfah33

We'll see I guess. Like UtahDan said, "I'll get back to you in another 8 years," too.

Our dear friend Arch has a slightly (and by slightly, I mean totally) jaded view of marriage. Of course it is possible to have a marriage without resentment, but it is unlikely, just as it is unlikely to raise your children without them resenting some of the things that you do for their own good.

But if you keep up the kind of actions that you are doing now, you will probably have a marriage almost totally devoid of resentment. It all depends on whether you chose well, and what kind of person you and your wife are.

But then again you probably already knew that.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by Detroitdad

Our dear friend Arch has a slightly (and by slightly, I mean totally) jaded view of marriage. Of course it is possible to have a marriage without resentment, but it is unlikely, just as it is unlikely to raise your children without them resenting some of the things that you do for their own good.

But if you keep up the kind of actions that you are doing now, you will probably have a marriage almost totally devoid of resentment. It all depends on whether you chose well, and what kind of person you and your wife are.

But then again you probably already knew that.

Better to be forewarned than to be caught off guard while she's filing divorce papers, saying, "remember when I took out the garbage can you forgot...."

Never let your spouse do more than you.

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Better to be forewarned than to be caught off guard while she's filing divorce papers, saying, "remember when I took out the garbage can you forgot...."

Never let your spouse do more than you.

I don't let my spouse do more than me so that when I want to got 400 miles to a football game I get no objections

[SoonerCoug]

Originally Posted by JohnnyLingo

Arch, if your marriage sucks, go to a therapist or counselor or something.

Don't be so cheap you seek advice on a message board.

Spoken like an ignoramus who has never been married.

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

Spoken like an ignoramus who has never been married.

Johnny is gay; he can't get married except in a couple of states.

[Detroitdad]

Originally Posted by SeattleUte

Johnny is gay; he can't get married except in a couple of states.

and in a couple of Northern European countries.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Beware.

Don't let her do things for you, she will secretly resent that.

Do extra things for her and find how she wants to be loved.

But don't let her do things for you. Do your own laundry, do her laundry when you can, prepare meals, shop for her, the kids and yourself. Minimize what she does as she will resent every little thing she does. Trust me, women forget what you do, remember what they do and resent everything. Do not trust her not to resent the smallest kindness. Don't let her do those or you will regret it.

This is crazy advice. What kind of woman did you marry?

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by marsupial

This is crazy advice. What kind of woman did you marry?

Nothing crazy about it. It's the summarization of many marriages, wards, communities in Nevada. If a guy lets her do it for him, he will regret it through her resentment. The purpose of ranting is to provide a view into the harsh realities and perhaps as dark humor about things which we can't change.

[Mindfulcoug]

Originally Posted by marsupial

This is crazy advice. What kind of woman did you marry?

Venusian !