Any sex advice for me? - Page 2 - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

mpfunk · 07-03-2006, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fuegote

Have the chat now that there are certain needs in a man's life. My mom in law told my wife that and Five years in...

I'm still getting it...

a lot.

and I clean and stuff so that helps.

The sexiest position for a man to be in (one that really turns on the ladies

by the sink cleaning dishes, hunched over cleaning the toilet etc.

I hate you too on so many levels.

MikeWaters · 07-03-2006, 08:02 PM

Two more pieces of advice:

If it's cavernous, oh well, virginity is overrated.

If it's the impossible task of fitting a buick in a drain pipe, oh well, virginity is overrated!

TyronneBiggums · 07-03-2006, 08:13 PM

My sex advice:

Get lots of it because it's good... so I've heard.

RockyBalboa · 07-03-2006, 11:08 PM

Take care of her needs first and the honey will flow like wine..........

Robin · 07-03-2006, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Two more pieces of advice:

If it's cavernous, oh well, virginity is overrated.

If it's the impossible task of fitting a buick in a drain pipe, oh well, virginity is overrated!

Hey, even fitting a prius into a drain pipe would be a tall order.

As for advice, nothing more than has already been said. Beginners suck, so take things slow. Things will get more interesting once you have been around the block a few times, and THAT is when you should come looking for advice.

Archaea · 07-03-2006, 11:27 PM

Be prepared to be disappointed, the both of you.

And be prepared to have moments and periods of frustration. Don't make it the end-all, be-all.

Hopefully she'll have fun, so that it redounds to your benefit as well.

Be patient, and don't be a prude.

Nobody can give you two the answers, you two must find them.

Stats show it's a problem for about fifty percent of couples. If it becomes a problem, don't wait, but seek counseling early; otherwise, it will destroy the marriage later on.

If the sex is bad, it's the whole problem; if it's good, it's only ten percent of the marriage, as it should be.

Congrats, and good luck.

Colly Wolly · 07-03-2006, 11:58 PM

What kind of responses are these? Boring.

Backwards cowgirl, asian cowgirl, and doggystyle! Guh-guh-get-get-get FREEEEEKY!

cougjunkie · 07-04-2006, 01:35 AM

The Donkey Punch is a junkie house favorite

Robin · 07-04-2006, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cougjunkie

The Donkey Punch is a junkie house favorite

Mike may ban me from this site for life, but the spirit of Robin will live on in assenine statements like this.

I beg for mercy before this thread continues any farther down this path.

Colly Wolly · 07-04-2006, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robin

Mike may ban me from this site for life, but the spirit of Robin will live on in assenine statements like this.

I beg for mercy before this thread continues any farther down this path.

This is nothing compared to your damn discharge post. Chillax.

07-03-2006, 11:08 PM	#14
RockyBalboa Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Salt Lake City Posts: 7,297	Take care of her needs first and the honey will flow like wine.......... __________________ Masquerading as Cougarguards very own genius dumbass since 05'.

07-03-2006, 11:27 PM	#16
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	Be prepared to be disappointed, the both of you. And be prepared to have moments and periods of frustration. Don't make it the end-all, be-all. Hopefully she'll have fun, so that it redounds to your benefit as well. Be patient, and don't be a prude. Nobody can give you two the answers, you two must find them. Stats show it's a problem for about fifty percent of couples. If it becomes a problem, don't wait, but seek counseling early; otherwise, it will destroy the marriage later on. If the sex is bad, it's the whole problem; if it's good, it's only ten percent of the marriage, as it should be. Congrats, and good luck. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα Last edited by Archaea; 07-03-2006 at 11:43 PM.

07-04-2006, 01:35 AM	#18
cougjunkie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Utah Posts: 5,741	The Donkey Punch is a junkie house favorite __________________ LINCECUM!

07-03-2006, 08:02 PM	#12
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	Two more pieces of advice: If it's cavernous, oh well, virginity is overrated. If it's the impossible task of fitting a buick in a drain pipe, oh well, virginity is overrated!

07-03-2006, 08:13 PM	#13
TyronneBiggums Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 143	My sex advice: Get lots of it because it's good... so I've heard.

07-03-2006, 11:58 PM	#17
Colly Wolly Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,281	What kind of responses are these? Boring. Backwards cowgirl, asian cowgirl, and doggystyle! Guh-guh-get-get-get FREEEEEKY!