Does this seem weird to you?

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by Surfah

Ain't that the truth. I went to Atlantic City expecting Vegas with a boardwalk. I didn't roll down the windows, kept the doors locked, and didn't stop at red lights in that city. Talk about ghetto.

the other thing about Atlantic City is that persistent weird odor.

You can see the ocean. You can hear the waves and the gulls. But it smells like an alley. Very strange.

I always laugh when east coasters say, "You guys have Vegas...we have Atlantic City..."

[myboynoah]

Given the current uncertainty in the financial markets, I think I would stay put.

[cougjunkie]

To be honest, if I remember correctly you are a little older. Your window maybe closing quickly so you may want to jump on any opportunities you get and take a chance.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

I would like a male perspective on this one from unbiased parties.

I went on a blind date a few months ago with someone my sister set me up with, whom she had never actually met. That's right, she met him online before she met her husband. This individual lives back east, so she never met him in person, but somehow found out he was in town this summer, and immediately pawned him off on me because she knows I'm fond of blind dates.

We went to dinner one night, right before he left for the airport. I think I spent one, maybe two hours with him before he left. Since then he calls, emails, etc... You know, stays in touch. He's always saying that I need to leave California and move back east to marry him, but it's a joke. It's always been a joke. Then suddenly yesterday things took this turn to the serious side, and he said that he really wants me to come to New Jersey. He tried to talk me into Thanksgiving or Christmas, but I declined. So then he's moved along to this "you're losing your job anyway, why don't you come live out here for a month, I know someone with a basement apartment that will let you stay there..." line. Again I declined, on the grounds that I need to start school. So then he tried negotiating for two weeks, and I finally promised that I would consider one. However, I gave him a long list of all the reasons why I would not be a suitable spouse for him, and he listened and said that I have said nothing that has changed his mind. He followed that up with a speech about being a worthy priesthood holder, stable, solid career, generous, loving, etc... and says that I need to plan on heading east.

I have tried to impress upon him the reality that the mere idea of going out there to visit gives me anxiety, much less actually going, and the thought of moving there makes me feel panicky. He says that's fine, it wouldn't panic him, and the fact that we are different is a good thing!?!?

I also tried telling him that I can't promise anything because if BYU goes to a BCS bowl game I will need to attend, and that may put some financial restraints on me that will not allow me to go dinking off on the east coast while I should be finding my little part-time student job out here. He was completely unphased and said that he will come meet me at the bowl game, and accompany me from there back east, and he has connections and can easily find me a job to work while I'm out there.

My roommate thinks I should go, I think one week trapped on the opposite coast with someone I've only met once is most definitely not a good idea, and that I should stay and get ready to start school.

Why are you entertaining all of this and continuing this conversation if you are not interested in what is being suggested? Either you completely lost your sense of what strange behavior in adults is, or you are one of these "no means yes" people who is giving him good reason to think that if he persists long enough that you will agree to come.

This is very straight forward. If you want to go, then go. If you don't want to go state emphatically that you don't want to go and stop having a dialogue about it.

Since you are asking honest opinions, and I have not read any other response as I type this, you are creating drama where none need exist. At some level, my guess is that you are enjoying having this drama swirling around as people rarely do things that don't reward them in some way. This is purely a matter of what you want to do. No one can tell you what you want to do. This is about what you are doing, not about what this guy is doing.

[RockyBalboa]

Instead of a week, do a 3 day compromise and in the mean time spend more time getting to him via phone calls and what not.....and that still gives you enough time to bail if you get cold feet or find out that he's just not for you.

And just remember BDB,,,and I know we've laughed via boardmails about this before concerning dating in the LDS World..if it isn't a good time, it's a good story.

[marsupial]

I'm not a man, so you didn't ask my opinion, but when did that ever stop me from giving it?

If he wants you to come out so badly, he should be offering to pay for your ticket. If you want to see him again, but don't feel comfortable going out there (and no, that's not weird) tell him so and invite him to come and see you.

If he is not cool with either of those scenarios, then he's a big dork and I'd move on.

[ute4ever]

Out of faith that BYU will play in a BCS bowl, you should plan now to take this trip during the Las Vegas Bowl. Think of the fun and bonding that could take place as you and a potential spouse watch the televised Poinsetta and New Mexico Bowls too.

[Black Diamond Bay]

Originally Posted by marsupial

I'm not a man, so you didn't ask my opinion, but when did that ever stop me from giving it?

If he wants you to come out so badly, he should be offering to pay for your ticket. If you want to see him again, but don't feel comfortable going out there (and no, that's not weird) tell him so and invite him to come and see you.

If he is not cool with either of those scenarios, then he's a big dork and I'd move on.

Yeah, always back to that invite him out here part. That's an invite that I haven't ever issued. I don't want him to come to me, and I am most certainly not paying to fly out there to see him. Contrary to Utah Dan's accusations I do not appreciate drama swirling around my head, which is why I don't have any. I thought about it at work, and decided to get some input, pardon me for making it seem overly dramatic.

[ERCougar]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

Yeah, always back to that invite him out here part. That's an invite that I haven't ever issued. I don't want him to come to me, and I am most certainly not paying to fly out there to see him. Contrary to Utah Dan's accusations I do not appreciate drama swirling around my head, which is why I don't have any. I thought about it at work, and decided to get some input, pardon me for making it seem overly dramatic.

I think what UtahDan's saying is that this decision is akin to "where should I eat dinner tonight?" There are no long-lasting implications to it. If you want to go, go; if not, don't. The worst that can happen is an awkward week--not really even that long if you make expectations clear ahead of time--and some fun time in NY. We've all been through the dating world and realize that there's a huge tendency to make big deals out of what end up being little things. This is one of those times.

I guess that's the advantage in life of having kids--it puts a lot of things in perspective.

[Black Diamond Bay]

Originally Posted by ERCougar

I think what UtahDan's saying is that this decision is akin to "where should I eat dinner tonight?" There are no long-lasting implications to it. If you want to go, go; if not, don't. The worst that can happen is an awkward week--not really even that long if you make expectations clear ahead of time--and some fun time in NY. We've all been through the dating world and realize that there's a huge tendency to make big deals out of what end up being little things. This is one of those times.

I guess that's the advantage in life of having kids--it puts a lot of things in perspective.

Okay then. That makes sense, and I won't be going. Thank you.