Why are my parents - Page 6 - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Archaea · 11-04-2007, 03:19 AM

What's the mamby schmamby about communication?

If you don't show up, they will get the message. If you stop returning their calls and refuse to show up then they will know.

Why mess with such small talk Padrino?

il Padrino Ute · 11-04-2007, 03:22 AM

You make a great point, Archaea, but I just like to let people know that I don't like them. They tend to stop bothering me when they understood that I don't care.

Mrs. Funk · 11-04-2007, 04:17 AM

I'm hoping to actually have a relationship with my parents, guys. They have more money than I do! They can buy me things if I at least partially placate them.

il Padrino Ute · 11-04-2007, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Funk

I'm hoping to actually have a relationship with my parents, guys. They have more money than I do! They can buy me things if I at least partially placate them.

In that case, suck up to them. Sell your dignity if you need to.

RockyBalboa · 11-04-2007, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

Awesome, you probably have half the stress in your life than any of them do.

I actually don't think it's a sad story, and I wouldn't change my brother or sister if I could, but I also wouldn't be them if I could. It is sort of irritating to be compared, there's no getting around that. It's just the way it is, and I'll never be able to change that, so the advice my parents offer that suggests that I need to be a different person, I disregard it. Other times they are very insightful, and offer really good advice, and I will listen to that, and usually do my best to follow it.

I have 3 older brothers and 3 older sisters....and accepted a long time ago, like I'm sure you have that comparisons too the elder siblings while motivated usually by pure intentions, is just a simple misguided fact of life. I'm the only one of 8 children that doesn't have a kid of his own,,,but to my familys credit, they don't give me any guff about it.

With birthday No#35 the day of the Holy War I'm glad they don't rub that part in about not contributing to the 29 nieces and nephews I have. My family is very cool.

Detroitdad · 11-04-2007, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Funk

I'm hoping to actually have a relationship with my parents, guys. They have more money than I do! They can buy me things if I at least partially placate them.

It really is not worth it in that regard. It is much better to have a relationship on YOUR terms than it is to have placatory relationship, where they give you stuff. I know you already know this.

But it may be time to have a talk where you define the relationship for them. They are the new outsiders and it may be that they do not know what kind of expectations you have of them going forward.

Mrs. Funk · 11-04-2007, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detroitdad

It really is not worth it in that regard. It is much better to have a relationship on YOUR terms than it is to have placatory relationship, where they give you stuff. I know you already know this.

But it may be time to have a talk where you define the relationship for them. They are the new outsiders and it may be that they do not know what kind of expectations you have of them going forward.

I was really being quite sarcastic with the "buy me stuff" post. While it's true they have more money than us, it's not something they use to leverage our time or love.

What is irritating is back in September, my mom made some mention of helping us with tickets to fly home for Christmas, and now both parents seem to have amnesia in that regard. I don't expect them to foot the bill all the time, but this amnesia is typical. My dad's a miser, anyway, for as wealthy as he's become.

We're working on establishing that relationship. It helps that we're farther away from them than I've ever been and I'm so busy, so they can't try to fly me home every six weeks (which they did when I was living about a six-hour drive away from them). They're having to accept being relegated to the role of "out of town in-laws." The first month we were down here, they called me multiple times a week. Now, to talk to anybody, I have to call all of the adults with cell phones and still, I probably won't get anyone. They've moved on, too.

11-04-2007, 03:19 AM	#51
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	What's the mamby schmamby about communication? If you don't show up, they will get the message. If you stop returning their calls and refuse to show up then they will know. Why mess with such small talk Padrino? __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα Last edited by Archaea; 11-04-2007 at 03:26 AM.

11-04-2007, 03:22 AM	#52
il Padrino Ute Board Pinhead Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the basement of my house, Murray, Utah. Posts: 15,941	You make a great point, Archaea, but I just like to let people know that I don't like them. They tend to stop bothering me when they understood that I don't care. __________________ "The beauty of baseball is not having to explain it." - Chuck Shriver "This is now the joke that stupid people laugh at." - Christopher Hitchens on IQ jokes about GWB.

11-04-2007, 04:17 AM	#53
Mrs. Funk Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 367	I'm hoping to actually have a relationship with my parents, guys. They have more money than I do! They can buy me things if I at least partially placate them.