LDS funerals - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

MikeWaters · 10-19-2015, 07:08 PM

Several years ago I was at a funeral. For an old man that had died. I think he was the only active member in his family. The last talk was given by local church leader and felt "off". It had the feeling of a gospel "rah-rah" talk, that seemed to have little to do with the deceased of the feelings of the mourners. Now this wasn't a sad death, he was an old man and had lived a full life.

Now more recently I went to an LDS funeral involving a young tragic death. And there were a few moments that felt "off." Like they were wrong notes. The wrong tone. I won't go into the details, because I'm sure they were doing the best they knew how. But it was almost like "why are people sad, what's the big deal here? She's in heaven." It's a fine line between remembering a person, mourning their death, and having faith in God and belief in the gospel of Christ. Sometimes spiking the ball in the endzone celebrating Christ's victory doesn't strike the right note. Now there were parts of this funeral that were absolutely right and perfect. And I'd never be upset with a person who was doing their best. I'm not upset at all. I'm just trying to wrap my ahead around the best way to handle these funerals.

BlueK · 10-19-2015, 10:04 PM

A few years ago I attended a funeral for the mother of one of my coworkers. My coworker was very religious and evangelical/born again, while her mom the best I can gather based on what my coworker said, didn't attend any church and wasn't very religious.

The funeral was at a funeral home and not a church, but was conducted by one of my coworker's pastors. It also felt "off" to me at the end of his eulogy in that he said he believed this lady had been saved based on talking with her daughter, but then gave a stern warning to everyone in the audience about what would happened if they died without being born again. I'm guessing most of the lady's friends were also not very religious, and I wondered how they felt. The whole thing felt a little "off" to me.

At the same time, I think the preacher was just speaking from his sincerely held beliefs, and I'm assuming said exactly what the deceased's daughter expected he'd say. I also really felt for my coworker's brother who was there. He looked truly devastated. I don't know how religious he was, but you could tell he really felt the pain and the loss and I felt bad for him.

Another time, while working at the same company I also attended a funeral of a coworker who worked in a different department. I didn't really know him since I hadn't been at the company very long when it happened, but our entire department went as a group. It was at the Methodist church that he attended and the preacher seemed to know him well. That was a nice funeral and really wasn't that much different than an LDS one. It was a celebration of his life but also had the religious element which in this case seemed to fit more naturally.

MikeWaters · 10-19-2015, 11:37 PM

My wife went to a funeral for a ward member. The funeral was actually held in a non-LDS church. I think that was the choice of her family. And she had actually been murdered, so it wasn't a very good death. And the minister gets up there and says he hopes she believed in Jesus and was saved, otherwise she is in hell right now.

So yeah, I complain sometimes about tone, but some people are singing the complete wrong song during funerals.

10-19-2015, 07:08 PM	#1
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	LDS funerals Several years ago I was at a funeral. For an old man that had died. I think he was the only active member in his family. The last talk was given by local church leader and felt "off". It had the feeling of a gospel "rah-rah" talk, that seemed to have little to do with the deceased of the feelings of the mourners. Now this wasn't a sad death, he was an old man and had lived a full life. Now more recently I went to an LDS funeral involving a young tragic death. And there were a few moments that felt "off." Like they were wrong notes. The wrong tone. I won't go into the details, because I'm sure they were doing the best they knew how. But it was almost like "why are people sad, what's the big deal here? She's in heaven." It's a fine line between remembering a person, mourning their death, and having faith in God and belief in the gospel of Christ. Sometimes spiking the ball in the endzone celebrating Christ's victory doesn't strike the right note. Now there were parts of this funeral that were absolutely right and perfect. And I'd never be upset with a person who was doing their best. I'm not upset at all. I'm just trying to wrap my ahead around the best way to handle these funerals.

10-19-2015, 10:04 PM	#2
BlueK Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 2,368	A few years ago I attended a funeral for the mother of one of my coworkers. My coworker was very religious and evangelical/born again, while her mom the best I can gather based on what my coworker said, didn't attend any church and wasn't very religious. The funeral was at a funeral home and not a church, but was conducted by one of my coworker's pastors. It also felt "off" to me at the end of his eulogy in that he said he believed this lady had been saved based on talking with her daughter, but then gave a stern warning to everyone in the audience about what would happened if they died without being born again. I'm guessing most of the lady's friends were also not very religious, and I wondered how they felt. The whole thing felt a little "off" to me. At the same time, I think the preacher was just speaking from his sincerely held beliefs, and I'm assuming said exactly what the deceased's daughter expected he'd say. I also really felt for my coworker's brother who was there. He looked truly devastated. I don't know how religious he was, but you could tell he really felt the pain and the loss and I felt bad for him. Another time, while working at the same company I also attended a funeral of a coworker who worked in a different department. I didn't really know him since I hadn't been at the company very long when it happened, but our entire department went as a group. It was at the Methodist church that he attended and the preacher seemed to know him well. That was a nice funeral and really wasn't that much different than an LDS one. It was a celebration of his life but also had the religious element which in this case seemed to fit more naturally.

10-19-2015, 11:37 PM	#3
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	My wife went to a funeral for a ward member. The funeral was actually held in a non-LDS church. I think that was the choice of her family. And she had actually been murdered, so it wasn't a very good death. And the minister gets up there and says he hopes she believed in Jesus and was saved, otherwise she is in hell right now. So yeah, I complain sometimes about tone, but some people are singing the complete wrong song during funerals.