The Proclamation on BYU Fandom

[MikeWaters]

Was buried on the LDS website, on an unlinked page. Not sure if it was ever officially released, or was just a draft.

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that BYU fandom is ordained of God and that BYU fandom is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL BYU FANS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. BYU fandom is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as BYU fans. The divine plan of happiness enables BYU fandom to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for BYU fans to return to the presence of God and for BYU fans to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for BYU fandom as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth with BYU fans remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between BYU fans, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which BYU fans are created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of BYU fandom and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.
BYU FANS have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “BYU fans are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). BYU fans have a sacred duty to rear their BYU fan children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve BYU fans, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. BYU fans will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

BYU FANDOM is ordained of God. Marriage between BYU fans is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of BYU fandom, and to be reared by BYU fans who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in BYU fandom is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful BYU fandom is established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, BYU fans are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. BYU fans are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, BYU fans are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate BYU fandom tenets will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of BYU fandom will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen BYU fandom as the fundamental unit of society.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Was buried on the LDS website, on an unlinked page. Not sure if it was ever officially released, or was just a draft.

Now this is something I can believe in.

Some edits I might propose:

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that BYU fandom is ordained of God and that BYU fandom is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL BYU FANS—male or female r—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. BYU fandom is an essential, noble characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as BYU fans. The divine plan of happiness enables BYU fandom to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available make it possible for BYU fans to return to the presence of God and for BYU fans to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for BYU fandom. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth with BYU fans remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between BYU fans, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. BYU fandom is also appropriate for singles as long as they contribute to Cougar Club.

WE DECLARE the means by which BYU fans are created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of BYU fandom and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.
BYU FANS have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “BYU fans are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). BYU fans have a sacred duty to rear their BYU fan children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve BYU fans, observe the commandments of God, be law-abiding citizens wherever they live, and attend or watch as many BYU athletic events as possible. BYU fans will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

BYU FANDOM is ordained of God. Marriage between BYU fans is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth with other BYU fans, and to be reared by BYU fans who honor marital vows with complete fidelity, and cause them to attend and to follow BYU sports. Happiness in BYU fandom is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ, who was the first BYU fan. Successful BYU fandom is established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, BYU fans are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. BYU fans are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, BYU fans are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate BYU fandom tenets will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of BYU fandom will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets. Dogs and cats living together and anarchy shall reign supreme, if BYU fandom should ever cease to be observed.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen BYU fandom as the fundamental principle of society.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Now this is something I can believe in.

Let's see if Ute4ever can show us his true faith and be obedient in all things.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Let's see if Ute4ever can show us his true faith and be obedient in all things.

My bet is that he is a closet apostate.

[MikeWaters]

Would I get suspended if I posted the Proclamation of BYU Fandom on CB?

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Would I get suspended if I posted the Proclamation of BYU Fandom on CB?

It might not go over well.But then again, life is not for the faint of heart.

Better yet, post the revised version, or perhaps we should revise it some more.

[MikeWaters]

I like your edit.