Family size

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by marsupial

Yes, he must not have the twenty-something supermodel friend list that you have.

Some of them are in their early thirties, so behave.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by RedHeadGal

I'm asking a broader question here, which is how and why does one choose to limit family size? In both the larger social context and in the Mormon cultural context.

My best guess on why Mormon family sizes have gotten smaller is that birth control has gotten better and there is no longer a stigma in our culture for using it. Seriously, it takes a special woman (and man) to want a large family. I admire these people. They are rare.

When we were growing up, the Pill had more side effects and was frowned upon by the church. I bet a lot of these large families back in the 60s and 70s would have limited their family size had they felt the freedom to do so. I think Mormon women today feel that freedom and are exercising it.

Why are we limiting our family size? We've been married for 10 years. We have three children, but could easily have 5 or 6 or possibly more if we were not limiting ourselves as we obviously are.

We waited to have our first so that I could finish school and we could have time together. Selfish? Sure.

I actually got pregnant by surprise despite our best efforts to prevent. We were thrilled nonetheless. We waited almost four years to have another because my husband was still in school, I was working from home to support us while caring for our rambunctious son and I felt overwhelmed. Despite this, baby fever eventually hit me and I got pregnant again. It didn't take me as long to want a third one, but I don't know if we will have more after this. Why? A millions reasons, all are probably selfish and they include:

1. I freakin' hate being pregnant. I feel like my body never recovers and I end up more damaged with each one.
2. C-sections suck. Recovery's a bitch. I've had three and it doesn't get easier. I am scared every time.
3. I feel rather inadequate as a mother (I assume this is normal and most women feel this way) and so I sort of feel like adding more children will only make me a worse mother instead of a better mother.
4. I am tired.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by FarrahWaters

This is my guess as well.

Mike is pretty eager to have another child soon (he says, what's not to like? DTD unprotected + your breasts get bigger + you get a baby out of it-- it's a win-win-win). Also, I'm evidently not getting any younger. Since our oldest was diagnosed with some special needs, I've been delaying a new pregnancy. I'm a little afraid that I'm not equipped to adequately help with all his issues, and have an additional child right away. Is it selfish, and a needless worry? Maybe. I'm still trying to decide.

Yeah, danimal wasn't so sure about the third one... but he didn't pass on the offer of unprotected sex.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by FarrahWaters

This is my guess as well.

Mike is pretty eager to have another child soon (he says, what's not to like? DTD unprotected + your breasts get bigger + you get a baby out of it-- it's a win-win-win). Also, I'm evidently not getting any younger. Since our oldest was diagnosed with some special needs, I've been delaying a new pregnancy. I'm a little afraid that I'm not equipped to adequately help with all his issues, and have an additional child right away. Is it selfish, and a needless worry? Maybe. I'm still trying to decide.

DTD? ("Doing Thy Duty"?) I mean I know it's sex.

I don't think Mike should go into pregnancy advocacy, but that's just me. Guilting you into it?

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by marsupial

Yeah, danimal wasn't so sure about the third one... but he didn't pass on the offer of unprotected sex.

Tell him a snip is a cheaper way of having guilt-free unprotected sex.

[danimal]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Tell him a snip is a cheaper way of having guilt-free unprotected sex.

Amen, brother.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by Archaea

DTD? ("Doing Thy Duty"?) I mean I know it's sex.

I don't think Mike should go into pregnancy advocacy, but that's just me. Guilting you into it?

I think it's "doing the dirty," but I looked it up in the urban dictionary and there it stands for all sorts of things that I am pretty sure Mike and Farrah don't do. Funny when a three-letter word gets shortened to a three-letter acronym.

[FarrahWaters]

Originally Posted by marsupial

I think it's "doing the dirty," but I looked it up in the urban dictionary and there it stands for all sorts of things that I am pretty sure Mike and Farrah don't do. Funny when a three-letter word gets shortened to a three-letter acronym.

Ok, I'm not going to even guess what that could be about. I thought you'd been on DAM long enough to know it's "do the deed" (with the intention of getting pregnant.)

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by FarrahWaters

Ok, I'm not going to even guess what that could be about. I thought you'd been on DAM long enough to know it's "do the deed" (with the intention of getting pregnant.)

Wow that makes it sound bad, instead good. That makes it sound like, "get it over with.."

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Wow that makes it sound bad, instead good. That makes it sound like, "get it over with.."

And "doing the duty" sounds better?