Once in a while CB has a thread worth noting

[BigFatMeanie]

The thing that scares the heck out of me when reading Phattcoug's post is that he got divorced after 27 (or so) years of marriage. When I hear about people getting divorced after so many years I always wonder whether things were crappy all along and they had just been enduring the crappy marriage for so many years or if things were going great through the first years of their marriage and didn't turn crappy until much later.

It's that second scenario that really scares me. I'm barely into my 12th year of marriage. I think things are generally great. I hope Mrs. Meanie thinks the same (I think she does). It's extremely difficult for me to even imagine a scenario in which 15 years from now things would get crappy to the point that I didn't want to be with Mrs. Meanie anymore. The fact that this scenario happens to some people is what scares me.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Why drag me into this?

I thought SU's humor was spot on. I imagine even Phatt's would agree.

It is fun to see Mike and SU tangle.

Only because your response to Mike made me think you didnt know he was kidding.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

Only because your response to Mike made me think you didnt know he was kidding.

Huh? What aspect conveyed that impression? Because I thought others might not understand, so I clarified to avoid futher confusion?

[Detroitdad]

Originally Posted by BigFatMeanie

The thing that scares the heck out of me when reading Phattcoug's post is that he got divorced after 27 (or so) years of marriage. When I hear about people getting divorced after so many years I always wonder whether things were crappy all along and they had just been enduring the crappy marriage for so many years or if things were going great through the first years of their marriage and didn't turn crappy until much later.

It's that second scenario that really scares me. I'm barely into my 12th year of marriage. I think things are generally great. I hope Mrs. Meanie thinks the same (I think she does). It's extremely difficult for me to even imagine a scenario in which 15 years from now things would get crappy to the point that I didn't want to be with Mrs. Meanie anymore. The fact that this scenario happens to some people is what scares me.

That is a bit scary. I guess constant vigilance is the key. People do change for the better and for the worse, and that makes communication all the more important. It sounds like phatcoug and his wife had a problem in that area and from what he said, she was unwilling to work on it. In that instance I am not sure what you can do. I do wonder sometimes if getting divorced, especially if it means being alone for the rest of your life (for the woman, since older men can always find women to take them) is not worse than the relationship.

[Archaea]

Both scenarios exist.

You can have it going rather well and then it will go into the crapper, or you can see somebody enduring a crappy marriage and then just having enough.

One warning you guys should be aware of, it is possible, especially if your wife is the quiet type, for her to be miserable, and you to be completely clueless. I've rarely known any woman be clueless that a divorce was coming but often known, especially LDS guys who thought all was hunky dory, when wham, she's divorcing you.

So do not become complacent and don't believe you have a good marriage. Maybe you, maybe you don't, but just believe you're probably clueless of what lies in the heart of a woman.

I had the unfortunate duty of filing for an uncontested divorce of a sixty year marriage. The husband was heart-broken. The wife claimed to have hated him forever, but just had enough. He still took care of her after the divorce. It was heart-wrenching.

Caveat semper. (bad Latin grammar I know).

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by Detroitdad

That is a bit scary. I guess constant vigilance is the key. People do change for the better and for the worse, and that makes communication all the more important. It sounds like phatcoug and his wife had a problem in that area and from what he said, she was unwilling to work on it. In that instance I am not sure what you can do. I do wonder sometimes if getting divorced, especially if it means being alone for the rest of your life (for the woman, since older men can always find women to take them) is not worse than the relationship.

A different thought is perhaps one must be willing to live alone in order to be a better companion.