Help me roast somebody...

[PaloAltoCougar]

I've been asked to join six others in roasting a good friend at a big birthday bash in a couple of weeks. The target is a 65 year-old male who is quite prominent in the community as a lawyer, entertainer (he has performed in Vegas as a lounge singer in the finest Bill Murray tradition), Rotarian (he was president of Rotary International recently) and Church member. He was picked to be the Marlboro Man back in the '60s, but he declined because he had recently joined the LDS Church, of which he's still an active member. The crowd will be primarily non-LDS, and fairly upscale and WASPy.

I love the guy, but he's very full of himself (a typical Christmas card from him shows him and his wife meeting with the Pope, Mikhail Gorbachev, President Hinckley, etc.), but he can take a lot of abuse, which I'm happy to inflict.

If you've heard or used any material that might fit the occasion, please pass it along. Any worthy jokes, insults or zingers will be appreciated.

[YOhio]

Tom Cruise roasted Matt Lauer the other day. It looked pretty funny.

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/10...att_lauer.html

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by PaloAltoCougar

I've been asked to join six others in roasting a good friend at a big birthday bash in a couple of weeks. The target is a 65 year-old male who is quite prominent in the community as a lawyer, entertainer (he has performed in Vegas as a lounge singer in the finest Bill Murray tradition), Rotarian (he was president of Rotary International recently) and Church member. He was picked to be the Marlboro Man back in the '60s, but he declined because he had recently joined the LDS Church, of which he's still an active member. The crowd will be primarily non-LDS, and fairly upscale and WASPy.

I love the guy, but he's very full of himself (a typical Christmas card from him shows him and his wife meeting with the Pope, Mikhail Gorbachev, President Hinckley, etc.), but he can take a lot of abuse, which I'm happy to inflict.

If you've heard or used any material that might fit the occasion, please pass it along. Any worthy jokes, insults or zingers will be appreciated.

an old one but I always likes it....

PAC's old friend walks into a bar and the bartender says: "Hey we have drink named after you" To which PAC's Old Friend responds "you have drink called "secret fag"?"

[il Padrino Ute]

I'd suggest you get on youtube and watch clips of the old Dean Martin roasts in the early 70s. All the stuff is good, especially when Don Rickles is doing the roasting.

[TripletDaddy]

"I am really glad we are all here tonight to celebrate John Doe's birthday....when I was asked to lead the festivities tonight, 100 funny stories came to mind....and those were the just the clean ones!...(pause for laughter)

....but tonight I dont want to talk about those stories. Tonight, I want to talk about something else. By show of hands, how many here have heard of Proposition 8 or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?....."

[PaloAltoCougar]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

"By show of hands, how many here have heard of Proposition 8 or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?....."

Happily, the gala is the 7th, by which time this ordeal will be over. Given that the target waited until he was around 45 to marry, I may actually do something with Prop. 8.

Good suggestions so far, keep 'em coming (although the "secret fag" joke may need a bit of retooling)....

[cougjunkie]

"So John Doe thinks he married up, well considering he's a necrophiliac anything that breathes is a step in the right direction."

"I'll never forget the advice John Doe gave me, It's not cheating if you pull out".

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by il Padrino Ute

I'd suggest you get on youtube and watch clips of the old Dean Martin roasts in the early 70s. All the stuff is good, especially when Don Rickles is doing the roasting.

Rickles is funny but for my money I am going with Jeffery Ross

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_vids/shatn...ffrey_ross.htm

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by PaloAltoCougar

Happily, the gala is the 7th, by which time this ordeal will be over. Given that the target waited until he was around 45 to marry, I may actually do something with Prop. 8.

Good suggestions so far, keep 'em coming (although the "secret fag" joke may need a bit of retooling)....

C'mon its a roast...People expect that sort of thing. I think you need to play the gay thing very strongly.

Here's another from Jeffery Ross:

"So a little more about [PAC's old Friend]... his main mission in life is to give aids back the monkees"

[smokymountainrain]

Originally Posted by Mormon Red Death

C'mon its a roast...People expect that sort of thing. I think you need to play the gay thing very strongly.

Here's another from Jeffery Ross:

"So a little more about [PAC's old Friend]... his main mission in life is to give aids back the monkees"

Nice.

The great thing about roasts - most of the jokes can work for anybody.