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danimal · 11-08-2007, 12:27 AM

I'm talking in church on "Heavenly Father is pleased when we improve ourselves." It's some random line from some random hymn I've never heard of. So my wise brothers and sisters, any good ideas for me?

il Padrino Ute · 11-08-2007, 12:53 AM

"Heavenly Father is pleased when we improve ourselves."

What more needs to be said?

Sacrament Meeting ends 20 minutes early. The ward will praise you.

SoCalCoug · 11-08-2007, 12:55 AM

Make it really interesting and substitute "pleasure" for "improve" - I bet people will really sit up and take notice.

MikeWaters · 11-08-2007, 12:56 AM

Do powerpoint and use flash animation and spiral transitions.

Archaea · 11-08-2007, 03:43 AM

Find the example of a member in your ward who is doing some amazing things.

I remember giving some similar talk a couple of decades ago.

We had a sixty year old brother, who served very diligently, but he was acquiring new skills. He at fifty starting running marathons, very quickly. WE had a Supreme Court Justice at age seventy started learning Greek. Use that as a jumping point.

Find a discipline in which you have a lot of interest, find one aspect and discuss it with enthusiasm and detail. Explain how hard you worked thereon. Talk about how many great skills and disciplines we can acquire.

Cite Heber J. Grant who improved himself for a lifetime and then focus upon some hero of yours.

Apologies for the lack of cohesion, but these are some random thoughts.

danimal · 11-08-2007, 04:01 AM

Thanks all for the thoughts.

I'm going to combine all your ideas and talk (very briefly) on God's displeasure with obesity and anti-intellectuals, praise those in the ward, by name, who have worked hard to become experts at self-pleasuring, and use powerpoint to back me up.

Indy Coug · 11-08-2007, 04:02 AM

You can always shoehorn the parable of the talents into such a talk.

Archaea · 11-08-2007, 04:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by danimal

Thanks all for the thoughts.

I'm going to combine all your ideas and talk (very briefly) on God's displeasure with obesity and anti-intellectuals, praise those in the ward, by name, who have worked hard to become experts at self-pleasuring, and use powerpoint to back me up.

That is a talk I would pay to see.

11-08-2007, 12:27 AM	#1
danimal Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Your mom's house Posts: 588	talk in church I'm talking in church on "Heavenly Father is pleased when we improve ourselves." It's some random line from some random hymn I've never heard of. So my wise brothers and sisters, any good ideas for me? __________________ Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters. Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people? Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but...but it might work for us. Last edited by danimal; 11-08-2007 at 12:29 AM.

11-08-2007, 12:53 AM	#2
il Padrino Ute Board Pinhead Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the basement of my house, Murray, Utah. Posts: 15,941	"Heavenly Father is pleased when we improve ourselves." What more needs to be said? Sacrament Meeting ends 20 minutes early. The ward will praise you. __________________ "The beauty of baseball is not having to explain it." - Chuck Shriver "This is now the joke that stupid people laugh at." - Christopher Hitchens on IQ jokes about GWB.

11-08-2007, 12:55 AM	#3
SoCalCoug Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Orange County, California Posts: 3,059	Make it really interesting and substitute "pleasure" for "improve" - I bet people will really sit up and take notice. __________________ Get your stinking paws off me, you damned, dirty Yewt! "Now perhaps as I spanked myself screaming out "Kozlowski, say it like you mean it bitch!" might have been out of line, but such was the mood." - Goatnapper "If you want to fatten a pig up to make the pig MORE delicious, you can feed it almost anything. Seriously. The pig is like the car on Back to the Future. You put in garbage, and out comes something magical!" - Cali Coug

11-08-2007, 03:43 AM	#5
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	Find the example of a member in your ward who is doing some amazing things. I remember giving some similar talk a couple of decades ago. We had a sixty year old brother, who served very diligently, but he was acquiring new skills. He at fifty starting running marathons, very quickly. WE had a Supreme Court Justice at age seventy started learning Greek. Use that as a jumping point. Find a discipline in which you have a lot of interest, find one aspect and discuss it with enthusiasm and detail. Explain how hard you worked thereon. Talk about how many great skills and disciplines we can acquire. Cite Heber J. Grant who improved himself for a lifetime and then focus upon some hero of yours. Apologies for the lack of cohesion, but these are some random thoughts. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

11-08-2007, 04:01 AM	#6
danimal Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Your mom's house Posts: 588	Thanks all for the thoughts. I'm going to combine all your ideas and talk (very briefly) on God's displeasure with obesity and anti-intellectuals, praise those in the ward, by name, who have worked hard to become experts at self-pleasuring, and use powerpoint to back me up. __________________ Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters. Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people? Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but...but it might work for us.

11-08-2007, 12:56 AM	#4
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	Do powerpoint and use flash animation and spiral transitions.

11-08-2007, 04:02 AM	#7
Indy Coug Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Between Iraq and a hard place Posts: 7,569	You can always shoehorn the parable of the talents into such a talk.