Stake Conf. Topic: Sexaul Intimacy

[BarbaraGordon]

Originally Posted by cougarobgon

Yes, I am serious. During his talk the SP repeated several times that this issue is rarely discussed in a Church setting and I agree. Up until Saturday, I don't recall ever receiving messages, counsel, or direction on this subject other than your typical "husbands be considerate of your wives" or the "it is a wonderful thing when expressed between a man and woman in love and married".

What negative messages?

You don't remember the ten years of directives to avoid fornication? The appeals to guilt? The rumors about the effects of self-stimulation? Being reminded to rid oneself of lust? The value of modesty? Our body is not our own, but a living temple?

There's an implicit message there that is very hard to get past, even well into marriage.

[cougarobgon]

Originally Posted by BarbaraGordon

You don't remember the ten years of directives to avoid fornication? The appeals to guilt? The rumors about the effects of self-stimulation? Being reminded to rid oneself of lust? The value of modesty? Our body is not our own, but a living temple?

There's an implicit message there that is very hard to get past, even well into marriage.

Of course, how could I have missed that message?

[RC Vikings]

How different is a LDS couples sex life from a non LDS couples sex life? My guess is they are not all that different. I think it's just a female/male difference. Females have just short of a million things going through their heads and the desire to have sex gets jumbled up in that mess while guys can focus on one thing and sex just happens to be top of the list.

[Tex]

Originally Posted by BarbaraGordon

You don't remember the ten years of directives to avoid fornication? The appeals to guilt? The rumors about the effects of self-stimulation? Being reminded to rid oneself of lust? The value of modesty? Our body is not our own, but a living temple?

Avoiding fornication, lust, and immodesty is considered "negative messaging"? Heh, who knew.

I suppose that makes Jesus and Paul guilty too, and for a lot longer than some measly 20-40 years.

Damn, it's amazing any Christian has sex anymore. And where the heck are all these kids coming from?

[ERCougar]

Originally Posted by BarbaraGordon

You don't remember the ten years of directives to avoid fornication? The appeals to guilt? The rumors about the effects of self-stimulation? Being reminded to rid oneself of lust? The value of modesty? Our body is not our own, but a living temple?

I thought you weren't Mormon.

[Donuthole]

Originally Posted by BarbaraGordon

Just a bit of unsolicited advice: I'd cut the conversations off first thing. Nothing positive can come from having these discussions with a married woman at work.

I don't think the fact that she's married is as pertinent as the fact that he's married.

[ERCougar]

Originally Posted by BarbaraGordon

Just a bit of unsolicited advice: I'd cut the conversations off first thing. Nothing positive can come from having these discussions with a married woman at work.

Agreed, although I think I've misled you about the relationship here. I mentioned the age thing because the rest of the guys in the group are almost our fathers' age, which is why she was bringing it up with me and not with anyone else. We're friends, but there's absolutely no attraction. I brought up the conversation with my wife (as I was curious what a woman would say to this). So I think we're pretty safe.

FWIW, the subject hasn't come up again since.

[BarbaraGordon]

Originally Posted by ERCougar

Agreed, although I think I've misled you about the relationship here. I mentioned the age thing because the rest of the guys in the group are almost our fathers' age, which is why she was bringing it up with me and not with anyone else. We're friends, but there's absolutely no attraction. I brought up the conversation with my wife (as I was curious what a woman would say to this). So I think we're pretty safe.

Apologies. I didn't mean to imply anything other than exactly what I said. I was just offering my two cents.

[BarbaraGordon]

Originally Posted by Donuthole

I don't think the fact that she's married is as pertinent as the fact that he's married.

I wasn't sure on that front.

[RockyBalboa]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

How different is a LDS couples sex life from a non LDS couples sex life? My guess is they are not all that different. I think it's just a female/male difference. Females have just short of a million things going through their heads and the desire to have sex gets jumbled up in that mess while guys can focus on one thing and sex just happens to be top of the list.

Speaking as one who's single and dated LDS and Non-LDS alike...I can tell you that the attitudes and the guilt syndrome ingrained....that there are worlds of difference.

A lot of the Non-LDS gals I've been out with seem to have much healthier attitudes towards sex in general....well so far as I've noticed anyway.