Can men be friends with an attractive woman - Page 4 - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Archaea · 09-20-2007, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FarrahWaters

Well, I'm sure this subject is tiring to everyone else, but since Mike has made me out to be a silly, naive little girl, I thought I'd briefly defend myself.

Guy from Portland: Casually dated one summer, never shared physical affection of any kind. Over the school year, we e-mailed each other twice. When he showed up in Provo suddenly (at the HFAC, not at my apartment at night), he said he was visiting his cousins/aunt/ uncle, and was going to go to General Conference. I hadn't heard from him in months, I had no reason to believe he came because he was in love with me. I told him I had a boyfriend, he said he was just interested in being casual friends.

When he called my parent's house the next summer, Mike overheard him asking (damn that speaker phone!) if I wanted to hang out. I didn't say yes, and I had not intention of saying yes. I don't know what Mike was so pissed about. It's not my fault he called, I didn't encourage him in any way.

Farrah you're a great gal, especially for putting up with Mike but...

No guy just wants to be friends with any girl who's cute. That's just a bald-faced lie. I agree with Noah's analysis. Guys will pursue until they are completely cut off at the pass.

creekster · 09-20-2007, 04:58 PM

Farrah and Marsupial, you forget that the thread was about whether men can be just friends (menaing not think about/hope for more) with a woman they find attractive.

The answer is, that thay can't. It is impossible.

This has nothing to do with representations that the woman makes, btw, it is just that men aren't capable of it. Moreover, some men may even think that they are only trying to be friends, but if they find the woman attractive, they are only kidding themsleves. IMO, this is how we are wired. It is genetic. Accordingly, I iwll go along on every date that my daughter ever has until she is 25 or I am incarcerated for choking one of her boyfirneds, whichever comes first.

The Borg · 09-20-2007, 05:00 PM

In the males psychie...there is some truth to the Dumb & Dumber movie:

"What are the chances that you and I could ever hook up"
"Oh, about one in a million"

..."so you're saying I have a chance!"

Girls...guys will always think they have a chance as long as you don't completely shut the door. It's that simple.

il Padrino Ute · 09-20-2007, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FarrahWaters

I didn't say I wanted to be friends. I said, "I have a boyfriend". I guess that's also code for "I want you".

As Mike mentioned, he was also "good friends" with a woman when he started medical school (I was still in Provo finishing my degree). They hung out all the time, went out to eat, and he would stay at her place until the wee hours of the morning. He insisted they were just friends, but it turns out she was pursuing him. After all the grief he gave me about Portland guy, I should refuse to change his oil.

Mike, I think you have some 'splaining to do.

Archaea · 09-20-2007, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Borg

In the males psychie...there is some truth to the Dumb & Dumber movie:

"What are the chances that you and I could ever hook up"
"Oh, about one in a million"

..."so you're saying I have a chance!"

Girls...guys will always think they have a chance as long as you don't completely shut the door. It's that simple.

Exactly.

You and Creek have explained it succinctly.

Surfah · 09-20-2007, 09:48 PM

My wife's best friend is a guy (For the record, my wife has like 18 best friends). Anyway, I have tried to explain to her why it makes me uncomfortable because I am a guy and I know guys motives much better than she'll ever understand but she still just doesn't get it and sees it as a jealousy issue. He's actually engaged and getting married now to another one of my wife's best friends but I told her that being married now will and probably should change the dynamic of their relationship.

cougjunkie · 09-20-2007, 09:55 PM

Farrah i have a feeling mike changes his own oil when you are not around.

MikeWaters · 09-20-2007, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by surfah33

My wife's best friend is a guy (For the record, my wife has like 18 best friends). Anyway, I have tried to explain to her why it makes me uncomfortable because I am a guy and I know guys motives much better than she'll ever understand but she still just doesn't get it and sees it as a jealousy issue. He's actually engaged and getting married now to another one of my wife's best friends but I told her that being married now will and probably should change the dynamic of their relationship.

I am still friends with the girl I hung out with in school. But the difference now is she is married. And when we do things, it is me, Farrah, her, and her husband. Your wife will probably find that the relationship will change on his end as well after he is married.

09-20-2007, 04:58 PM	#32
creekster Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: the far corner of my mind Posts: 8,711	Farrah and Marsupial, you forget that the thread was about whether men can be just friends (menaing not think about/hope for more) with a woman they find attractive. The answer is, that thay can't. It is impossible. This has nothing to do with representations that the woman makes, btw, it is just that men aren't capable of it. Moreover, some men may even think that they are only trying to be friends, but if they find the woman attractive, they are only kidding themsleves. IMO, this is how we are wired. It is genetic. Accordingly, I iwll go along on every date that my daughter ever has until she is 25 or I am incarcerated for choking one of her boyfirneds, whichever comes first. __________________ Sorry for th e tpyos.

09-20-2007, 05:00 PM	#33
The Borg Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 533	In the males psychie...there is some truth to the Dumb & Dumber movie: "What are the chances that you and I could ever hook up" "Oh, about one in a million" ..."so you're saying I have a chance!" Girls...guys will always think they have a chance as long as you don't completely shut the door. It's that simple. __________________ Hello......helloo.......HELLLOOO!

09-20-2007, 09:48 PM	#36
Surfah Master Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: F'burg, VA Posts: 3,211	My wife's best friend is a guy (For the record, my wife has like 18 best friends). Anyway, I have tried to explain to her why it makes me uncomfortable because I am a guy and I know guys motives much better than she'll ever understand but she still just doesn't get it and sees it as a jealousy issue. He's actually engaged and getting married now to another one of my wife's best friends but I told her that being married now will and probably should change the dynamic of their relationship. __________________ Ernie Johnson: "Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort." Charles Barkley: "20 pts and 10 rebounds will get you through also!"

09-20-2007, 09:55 PM	#37
cougjunkie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Utah Posts: 5,741	Farrah i have a feeling mike changes his own oil when you are not around. __________________ LINCECUM!