I just need to vent...... - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

The_Tick · 12-30-2005, 04:48 AM

Call me a liberal Latter Day Saint if you will......

This is where I struggle with some stuff in the church....

We have a good friend that passed away of Cancer yesterday afternoon. He was a mentor to me and someone I thought mirrored the Savior and God greatly. If I could come to Earth and then choose a father it would have been him. He was a spiritual giant. Been a Bishop, been a SP the whole bit.

He gets Cancer a year ago and loses his job. His family scrapes by (10 kids. Youngest is 12) so they can continue to pay his life and medical insurance. So, he passes away yesterday and the family has this....

A. 200,000 worth of Life Insurance
B. SSI for the 2 youngest kids and spousal support from government.

She is about 50. Has never had a job and didn't have an education because she was a "baby factory".

WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO NOW?

I know that some of the older kids are going to have to help pitch in. But there are 2 at BYU and 2 in the mission field.

This is why I disagree with some of the stances. If she had a job and some sort of marketable skills then she would be fine. But I haven't seen a job that says "Mothering experience preferred".

Does she....

A. Become a burden to her family?
B. Become a burden to the Church?
C. Now forced to look to remarry so she can be provided for?

I am angry right now. This was a very good man that never smoke or drank in his life. There are folks that look like Pall Mall and Vodka that live until they are 90. Completely unfair.

I got almost no sleep last night. I am looking for a temple to go to now for some "peace", but LA is closed for a while.....

Vent and judge if you will.... I just needed to type...

DirtyHippieUTE · 12-30-2005, 05:01 AM

I am sorry to hear about your friend. I remember when a mentor of mine passed away. It sounds like something corny but the next day I could almost feel that the world was just a little worse off without him.

I am sorry to hear about his family's situation.

One thing you might take from all of this. If he was such a great man and he and his wife made these decisions together, he obviously had faith that he was doing things the best way he could. I would assume he had faith that things would be ok for his family, find a little hope in that.

ute4ever · 12-30-2005, 07:00 AM

He found out about his cancer a year ago; I would think that he and his wife and kids have discussed what their future plans would be. And I don't know what their mortgage and expenses are, but $200k in life insurance sounds like a safe amount to help the widow and family get on their feet.

Now I hope this doesn't sound condescending. I realize you did not type all of the details. My point is I empathize with your loss and feel like their being left with something, is a lot better than nothing.

Rickomatic · 12-30-2005, 03:09 PM

My father died from cancer in October of 2002. It was a very hard battle that forced my mom to get a job to support herself and my dad. She is now very unhappy about working and being left alone. It is not an easy life that we live, but we all agreed to come here and face these trials because we could see the ultimate goal. The unfortunate part is that with the veil in place, we can not see that goal anymore. We must have faith that that goal is there for us.

Pampas Coug · 12-30-2005, 07:53 PM

As far as I'm concerned, no one in specific need through no intentional act of their own is ever a burden to the church. She is specifically why I gladly pay a fast offering. The whole of religion is to care for the widows and the fatherless until we can help them learn to care for themselves. It may be a few years until that is accomplished, but her family should not be seen as a burden if they seek assistance from the church.

Just MHO.

12-30-2005, 04:48 AM	#1
The_Tick Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 626	I just need to vent...... Call me a liberal Latter Day Saint if you will...... This is where I struggle with some stuff in the church.... We have a good friend that passed away of Cancer yesterday afternoon. He was a mentor to me and someone I thought mirrored the Savior and God greatly. If I could come to Earth and then choose a father it would have been him. He was a spiritual giant. Been a Bishop, been a SP the whole bit. He gets Cancer a year ago and loses his job. His family scrapes by (10 kids. Youngest is 12) so they can continue to pay his life and medical insurance. So, he passes away yesterday and the family has this.... A. 200,000 worth of Life Insurance B. SSI for the 2 youngest kids and spousal support from government. She is about 50. Has never had a job and didn't have an education because she was a "baby factory". WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO NOW? I know that some of the older kids are going to have to help pitch in. But there are 2 at BYU and 2 in the mission field. This is why I disagree with some of the stances. If she had a job and some sort of marketable skills then she would be fine. But I haven't seen a job that says "Mothering experience preferred". Does she.... A. Become a burden to her family? B. Become a burden to the Church? C. Now forced to look to remarry so she can be provided for? I am angry right now. This was a very good man that never smoke or drank in his life. There are folks that look like Pall Mall and Vodka that live until they are 90. Completely unfair. I got almost no sleep last night. I am looking for a temple to go to now for some "peace", but LA is closed for a while..... Vent and judge if you will.... I just needed to type... __________________ Spooooooon

12-30-2005, 03:09 PM	#4
Rickomatic Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: West Jordan UT Posts: 319	My father died from cancer in October of 2002. It was a very hard battle that forced my mom to get a job to support herself and my dad. She is now very unhappy about working and being left alone. It is not an easy life that we live, but we all agreed to come here and face these trials because we could see the ultimate goal. The unfortunate part is that with the veil in place, we can not see that goal anymore. We must have faith that that goal is there for us. __________________ "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." Mark Twain

12-30-2005, 07:53 PM	#5
Pampas Coug Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: eastern west-central Utah Posts: 7	As far as I'm concerned, no one in specific need through no intentional act of their own is ever a burden to the church. She is specifically why I gladly pay a fast offering. The whole of religion is to care for the widows and the fatherless until we can help them learn to care for themselves. It may be a few years until that is accomplished, but her family should not be seen as a burden if they seek assistance from the church. Just MHO. __________________ Sometimes I think I\'d be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you!

12-30-2005, 05:01 AM	#2
DirtyHippieUTE Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Moscow, ID Posts: 1,151	I am sorry to hear about your friend. I remember when a mentor of mine passed away. It sounds like something corny but the next day I could almost feel that the world was just a little worse off without him. I am sorry to hear about his family's situation. One thing you might take from all of this. If he was such a great man and he and his wife made these decisions together, he obviously had faith that he was doing things the best way he could. I would assume he had faith that things would be ok for his family, find a little hope in that.

12-30-2005, 07:00 AM	#3
ute4ever I must not tell lies Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,103	He found out about his cancer a year ago; I would think that he and his wife and kids have discussed what their future plans would be. And I don't know what their mortgage and expenses are, but $200k in life insurance sounds like a safe amount to help the widow and family get on their feet. Now I hope this doesn't sound condescending. I realize you did not type all of the details. My point is I empathize with your loss and feel like their being left with something, is a lot better than nothing.