Favorite Mormon Myths

[BlueHair]

#1 - Monday Night Football was invented to destroy Family Home Evening.

#2 - The stories of how garments saved the life of a friend of a friend. The one I heard most often was how the person was burned everywhere, except where the garments were.

#3 - Tithing miracles - "I didn't have enough money to pay all of my bills, but decided to pay tithing anyway. Somehow, I ended up with enough to pay my bills too."

#4 - Dusting off the feet- The story about how some missionaries left their underwear at a laundromat. When they went back to get them, they were on display with a sign reading "Mormon Monkey Suits". When the business owner refused to take them down, they dusted off their feet and the place burned to the ground. This is a story that is generally reported to have taken place in their father's mission or the mission of some relative.

#5 - Two strangers in an elevator at the COB - A General Authority gets on the elevator and remarks how they make a good couple. The pair, despite having never met, decide to get married. This story is generally told in a lesson about inspiration or obedience. Sadly, this one is probably true.

[ute4ever]

Little old Doris was driving home from the market, when she got a flat tire, and was afraid the ice cream would spoil and she wouldn't have anything to treat her grandchildren, when suddenly a man wearing all white appeared, and changed her tire, and didn't even break a sweat! When she turned to thank him... he was gone.

Note: you can buy a book filled with these "firsthand accounts" of the translated Alma the Younger and company at your favorite neighborhood Deseret Book. Brother Joseph would have purchased a copy en route to Carthage, had he been given the chance.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Speaking of numer #3, I have a funny story along those lines. My friend used to live in Chicago. About ten years ago they had a poor family in the stake who were down to their last bit of cash. They prayed about what to do and decided to buy a lottery ticket. And of course, they hit the jackpot. The husband got up in fast & testimony meeting shortly thereafter and broke the blessed news and rejoiced over the power of prayer and personal revelation. Word spread like wildfire through the stake. Needless to say, the church leadership was horrified and quickly mounted a vigorous campaign to counter the God-blesses-his-children-via-gambling story. My friend said it was terrific entertainment. True story.

[RockyBalboa]

Joseph Smith rings.

[RockyBalboa]

Originally Posted by BlueHair

#1 - Monday Night Football was invented to destroy Family Home Evening.

#2 - The stories of how garments saved the life of a friend of a friend. The one I heard most often was how the person was burned everywhere, except where the garments were.

#3 - Tithing miracles - "I didn't have enough money to pay all of my bills, but decided to pay tithing anyway. Somehow, I ended up with enough to pay my bills too."

#4 - Dusting off the feet- The story about how some missionaries left their underwear at a laundromat. When they went back to get them, they were on display with a sign reading "Mormon Monkey Suits". When the business owner refused to take them down, they dusted off their feet and the place burned to the ground. This is a story that is generally reported to have taken place in their father's mission or the mission of some relative.

#5 - Two strangers in an elevator at the COB - A General Authority gets on the elevator and remarks how they make a good couple. The pair, despite having never met, decide to get married. This story is generally told in a lesson about inspiration or obedience. Sadly, this one is probably true.

Speaking of #5,,,,if you ever want to play a prank on the elevator I heard a comedian say this one time:

"If you ever get on a packed with a friend of yours, say..."Well yeah I'll take the case, but why did you shoot the guy?" The friend after a breath and a pause goes......"Because he kept staring at the back of my head."

[Venkman]

Nephite warriors on the Provo foothills, watching over the MTC.

[Archaea]

Number 3 is one I'd differ with. The exercise of paying tithing is good and I wouldn't dismiss those efforts so blithely.

[BlueHair]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Number 3 is one I'd differ with. The exercise of paying tithing is good and I wouldn't dismiss those efforts so blithely.

I have no problem with tithing. Overall, people who give are probably more mindful of their expenses. I was talking more about there not being enough money and money magically appearing because they paid their tithing. That type of story is funny to me.

[BlueHair]

Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski

Speaking of numer #3, I have a funny story along those lines. My friend used to live in Chicago. About ten years ago they had a poor family in the stake who were down to their last bit of cash. They prayed about what to do and decided to buy a lottery ticket. And of course, they hit the jackpot. The husband got up in fast & testimony meeting shortly thereafter and broke the blessed news and rejoiced over the power of prayer and personal revelation. Word spread like wildfire through the stake. Needless to say, the church leadership was horrified and quickly mounted a vigorous campaign to counter the God-blesses-his-children-via-gambling story. My friend said it was terrific entertainment. True story.

That is hilarious. I wish I received that kind of inspiration.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by BlueHair

I have no problem with tithing. Overall, people who give are probably more mindful of their expenses. I was talking more about there not being enough money and money magically appearing because they paid their tithing. That type of story is funny to me.

I suppose it is, but I have faithfully paid my tithing, usually managing my money well, but payments in the pike have come at opportune times. Whether it is comical or not, my faith is such that I believe some aspect of heaven had a hand in it. The principles of financial management I attribute directly to the good teachings of the Church.