Why did he spread my cheeks if he wasn't going to do anything? - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Robin · 06-05-2006, 09:25 PM

I had my bi-annual physical today.

Height was the same.

Weight, gained seven pounds (lack of exercise and too much In-n-Out).

Reflexes, normal.

Then comes time for the dreaded prostate exam. The doctor tells me to get onto my left side and curl up my legs. I do what the man says.

You have to understand that these physicals are required for one of the contracting jobs that I have. I am required to have the physicals, and the doctor is required to report the results.

He spreads my cheeks, and then says, "I'm no longer required to do a prostate exam every visit... so everything is okay, and I will send your paperwork over to the client."

I was relieved for about one minute. Then I started to think about what just happened. If the prostate exam wasn't required, then why did he have me roll onto my side and why did he spread my cheeks? Was my ass so horrible that he took one look and decided just to fudge my paperwork? I had showered that morning, but the twenty minutes on the motorcycle had certainly made things sweaty. I took a look in the mirror. No dingleberry surprises... nothing but nasty hairy ass, as one would expect on any man.

So now I am all self-conscious about my ass. Is it so nasty that doctors shirk their Hippocratic Oath rather than spelunk its fuzzy interrior? I mean if the doctor really didn't need to do the jelly-finger, why did I get the prelim-cheek-spread?

WHY!??

CrazyHorse · 06-05-2006, 09:30 PM

I had the same problem, they told me to bend over and spredum and then didn't do anything. I'll tell you what, I never want to see that doctor again.

livecoug · 06-05-2006, 09:32 PM

so many ways to go with this..... I'll refrain and remain the good boy that i am..

The_Tick · 06-05-2006, 10:02 PM

I can't resist. You have more will power than me LC...

He said Fudge!

livecoug · 06-05-2006, 10:16 PM

maybe the point was to use Robin's butt to fudge the paperwork?

dangit.. sorry tick.. no will power here either..

Robin · 06-05-2006, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by livecoug

maybe the point was to use Robin's butt to fudge the paperwork?

dangit.. sorry tick.. no will power here either..

Maybe I was molested. Cool... so this is what it feels like to be a 'survivor.'

This will make marching at Take Back the Night so much more meaningful.

UteStar · 06-05-2006, 11:02 PM

There was a 'Friends' episode when Joey is going to the tailor to get his pants done up..."the tailor takes my measurement, goes up the inside of my leg, moves it to the left, goes up the other side and moves it back to the right. Thats how they do it, isn't it?...yes, yes it is, IN PRISON!" That exchange always makes me laugh.

At least your doctor didn't ask you to act like you were talking with your bum cheeks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robin

Maybe I was molested. Cool... so this is what it feels like to be a 'survivor.'

This will make marching at Take Back the Night so much more meaningful.

Colly Wolly · 06-05-2006, 11:50 PM

Hilarious thread. Did you forget to mention the point where you told him to "gun these pigs?" Maybe he changed his mind after that.

creekster · 06-06-2006, 12:07 AM

I think anyone with the sobriquet "Stick it in him" should be banned from a thread with this title. Just becasue.

Archaea · 06-06-2006, 12:16 AM

This thread is bound and determined to stretch the limits, ain't it.

Maybe Robin can start a former mormons for gay activities board. He would get his wish, as I would not visit that board.

No more discussions of what Robin does with his sex organ.

06-05-2006, 09:25 PM	#1
Robin Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 961	Why did he spread my cheeks if he wasn't going to do anything? I had my bi-annual physical today. Height was the same. Weight, gained seven pounds (lack of exercise and too much In-n-Out). Reflexes, normal. Then comes time for the dreaded prostate exam. The doctor tells me to get onto my left side and curl up my legs. I do what the man says. You have to understand that these physicals are required for one of the contracting jobs that I have. I am required to have the physicals, and the doctor is required to report the results. He spreads my cheeks, and then says, "I'm no longer required to do a prostate exam every visit... so everything is okay, and I will send your paperwork over to the client." I was relieved for about one minute. Then I started to think about what just happened. If the prostate exam wasn't required, then why did he have me roll onto my side and why did he spread my cheeks? Was my ass so horrible that he took one look and decided just to fudge my paperwork? I had showered that morning, but the twenty minutes on the motorcycle had certainly made things sweaty. I took a look in the mirror. No dingleberry surprises... nothing but nasty hairy ass, as one would expect on any man. So now I am all self-conscious about my ass. Is it so nasty that doctors shirk their Hippocratic Oath rather than spelunk its fuzzy interrior? I mean if the doctor really didn't need to do the jelly-finger, why did I get the prelim-cheek-spread? WHY!?? Last edited by Robin; 06-05-2006 at 09:28 PM.

06-05-2006, 10:02 PM	#4
The_Tick Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 626	I can't resist. You have more will power than me LC... He said Fudge! __________________ Spooooooon

06-06-2006, 12:07 AM	#9
creekster Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: the far corner of my mind Posts: 8,711	I think anyone with the sobriquet "Stick it in him" should be banned from a thread with this title. Just becasue. __________________ Sorry for th e tpyos.

06-06-2006, 12:16 AM	#10
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	This thread is bound and determined to stretch the limits, ain't it. Maybe Robin can start a former mormons for gay activities board. He would get his wish, as I would not visit that board. No more discussions of what Robin does with his sex organ. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

06-05-2006, 09:30 PM	#2
CrazyHorse Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 39	I had the same problem, they told me to bend over and spredum and then didn't do anything. I'll tell you what, I never want to see that doctor again.

06-05-2006, 09:32 PM	#3
livecoug Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,176	so many ways to go with this..... I'll refrain and remain the good boy that i am..

06-05-2006, 10:16 PM	#5
livecoug Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,176	maybe the point was to use Robin's butt to fudge the paperwork? dangit.. sorry tick.. no will power here either..

06-05-2006, 11:50 PM	#8
Colly Wolly Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,281	Hilarious thread. Did you forget to mention the point where you told him to "gun these pigs?" Maybe he changed his mind after that.