Help for Sex-Starved Wives

[Surfah]

Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski

I think you are overstating your case. There was plenty of sex in the media in the 60's,70's, and 80's. Don't kid yourself.

I'd agree. Ute4ever makes a case, but as part of your generation I still believe that the church's influence swings a heavy hammer. While I know couples that share a vigorous sexual appetite, I know many others with hang ups about sex, and one girl who felt so guilty about consummating her marriage that afterwards she locked herself in the bathroom and cried all night. I don't agree that our generation wants sex more.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by surfah33

I'd agree. Ute4ever makes a case, but as part of your generation I still believe that the church's influence swings a heavy hammer. While I know couples that share a vigorous sexual appetite, I know many others with hang ups about sex, and one girl who felt so guilty about consummating her marriage that afterwards she locked herself in the bathroom and cried all night. I don't agree that our generation wants sex more.

I agree that the culture of the Church hampers healthy marriage attitudes for some couples. We swing so far to the conservative side, "don't show the shoulder," "sex is bad", "don't don't don't", "no sex talk" and so forth that we have for some a sexually repressive culture with its unfortunate harmful side effects.

[Tex]

Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski

I think you are overstating your case. There was plenty of sex in the media in the 60's,70's, and 80's. Don't kid yourself.

Hmm, perhaps there was "plenty" depending on how you define that word. I think that as a cultural topic sex is certainly more easily discussed/portrayed in media today than decades ago. TV and movie standards have steadily loosened, and the advent of cable/satellite has made it even more available. And don't get me started on the Internet.

Originally Posted by surfah33

I'd agree. Ute4ever makes a case, but as part of your generation I still believe that the church's influence swings a heavy hammer. While I know couples that share a vigorous sexual appetite, I know many others with hang ups about sex, and one girl who felt so guilty about consummating her marriage that afterwards she locked herself in the bathroom and cried all night. I don't agree that our generation wants sex more.

People are volunteering this information to you?

[RC Vikings]

Originally Posted by surfah33

and one girl who felt so guilty about consummating her marriage that afterwards she locked herself in the bathroom and cried all night.

Were you able to convince your wife that next time you would last longer and it wouldn't be like that for the rest of her married life?

[creekster]

Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski

I think you are overstating your case. There was plenty of sex in the media in the 60's,70's, and 80's. Don't kid yourself.

I don't agree with this. Both the quanitity and the content of sexual discussions and refernces has changed enormously since the 60s and 70s. Just think about the Monica Lewinsky debacle, items that were discussed in detail during evening news braodcasts of this epsiode were not even mentioned in mainstream media in the 60s and 70s. The sexual revolution took place largely between individuals and was only played out very loosely and non-specifically in the media at the time. The 70s were not the 50s, it is true, but they were also not the 90s.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by creekster

I don't agree with this. Both the quanitity and the content of sexual discussions and refernces has changed enormously since the 60s and 70s. Just think about the Monica Lewinsky debacle, items that were discussed in detail during evening news braodcasts of this epsiode were not even mentioned in mainstream media in the 60s and 70s. The sexual revolution took place largely between individuals and was only played out very loosely and non-specifically in the media at the time. The 70s were not the 50s, it is true, but they were also not the 90s.

Growing up I remember the big deal that was made in the news when condoms were brought up on Blossom, when DJ got her period on Roseanne and when Candace Bergen became an unwed mother on Murphy Brown. Condoms, periods and single motherhood are minor league compared to what gets by on the networks now.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Originally Posted by creekster

I don't agree with this. Both the quanitity and the content of sexual discussions and refernces has changed enormously since the 60s and 70s. Just think about the Monica Lewinsky debacle, items that were discussed in detail during evening news braodcasts of this epsiode were not even mentioned in mainstream media in the 60s and 70s. The sexual revolution took place largely between individuals and was only played out very loosely and non-specifically in the media at the time. The 70s were not the 50s, it is true, but they were also not the 90s.

Sure. I just don't believe the difference is as large as many portray it is. Go back and watch many of the PG and R movies from the 70's. Lots of sex and nudity. And there was no shortage of sexual discussions and sexual activity at the high school that I attended. Half of our cheerleaders were pregnant.

Are you also going to argue that this higher reference rate in the media is having a dramatic effect on sex drives in women? That's the part that I have a tough time believing.

[marsupial]

My mom was born in 1940. She got her first TV when she was 12. She told me that she knew nothing about sex when she got married. Of course, I don't really know what it was like in the 40s and 50s when she was growing up but I get the impression that a prevalent attitude among women at that time and before was that sex was what women do to keep their husbands happy. Certainly women were enjoying sex at this time, but it wasn't something they talked about and I think expectations for many women were low.

I was born in 1977. The feeling I get from my generation of women is that sex is something we expect to be pleasurable. We don't buy the idea that sex is only for having babies and keeping men happy. I consider this attitude shift a good thing for both men and women.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski

Are you also going to argue that this higher reference rate in the media is having a dramatic effect on sex drives in women? That's the part that I have a tough time believing.

I alluded to this in my previous post. I think the media has affected women's expectations for sex. I wouldn't be surprised if a significant number of women from my mother's generation never or rarely achieved orgasm. Many probably never expected anything more than they got. This is probably not true for my generation of women. So if women are enjoying sex more then they want more sex.

[RockyBalboa]

The title of this thread is of itself oxymoronic.