A Halloween Rant - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

BigFatMeanie · 11-02-2006, 05:04 AM

I just finished my 10th consecutive year of taking my kid(s) trick-or-treating and I've got to say that Halloween just isn't as good as it used to be. Without futher ado I present my Halloween Lame List (In the style of the Windows Sockets Lame List - it's a programmer thing)

Trunk-or-Treating - Lame
Any type of event where people take their children to do "safe" trick-or-treating (including office, church, the mall, etc.) is lame. This isn't trick-or-treating - it's simply a way to collect candy in an efficient manner. If you want your kids to gather candy efficiently, just go the store and buy them a sack and cut out the middleman altogether.

The Two-Parent Escort - Inexcusably lame
What's up with both parents taking their single kid out trick-or-treating? They think their Johnny is so special that neither parent wants to miss every precious knock on the door? If both parents accompany the kid, nobody is left back at the ranch to pass out candy to the other neighborhood kids.

Lack of Trick - Violently lame
I don't think we need to have "Devil's Night" like they do in Detroit but nobody bothers to pull any pranks on Halloween. Sheesh, at least carry a couple of eggs or a bar of soap to teach the "not-at-homes" a little lesson. Sheesh, nobody even smashes pumpkins on the street anymore.

The Bowl On the Porch - Totally lame
What kind of morons leave a bowl of candy on the porch with a sign that says "Please take just one!"? The first self-respecting kid that comes by is going to dump the whole thing in his bag. Besides, in this day of Lack of Trick (see above) you have nothing to worry about if you're not home - nobody is going to do anything to your house anyway.

The Car Escort - Thrashing in a sea of lameness
There's nothing worse than seeing a convoy of cars following their children down the street. Even lamer is when the kids don't walk from house-to-house but actually go back to the car to get driven from house to house. What kind of wussies have we turned into? Are we as a country so fat and lazy that we can't simply walk with our kids as they go trick-or-treating but instead have to follow along behind them in the car? Sheesh - put on a coat and walk a few blocks!

The Uncostumed Teenager - Mired in a sweaty mass of lameness
You know the type. They usually ring your door around 9:00 p.m, have no costume, and are toting a pillow sack. When they lamely mumble "trick or treat", I always say "trick" and they sit there with a dumb look on their face. Do your worst you lame teenager - you ain't getting any free candy from me unless you at least go to the effort of pulling together a costume.

11-02-2006, 05:04 AM	#1
BigFatMeanie Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: South Jordan Posts: 1,725	A Halloween Rant I just finished my 10th consecutive year of taking my kid(s) trick-or-treating and I've got to say that Halloween just isn't as good as it used to be. Without futher ado I present my Halloween Lame List (In the style of the Windows Sockets Lame List - it's a programmer thing) Trunk-or-Treating - Lame Any type of event where people take their children to do "safe" trick-or-treating (including office, church, the mall, etc.) is lame. This isn't trick-or-treating - it's simply a way to collect candy in an efficient manner. If you want your kids to gather candy efficiently, just go the store and buy them a sack and cut out the middleman altogether. The Two-Parent Escort - Inexcusably lame What's up with both parents taking their single kid out trick-or-treating? They think their Johnny is so special that neither parent wants to miss every precious knock on the door? If both parents accompany the kid, nobody is left back at the ranch to pass out candy to the other neighborhood kids. Lack of Trick - Violently lame I don't think we need to have "Devil's Night" like they do in Detroit but nobody bothers to pull any pranks on Halloween. Sheesh, at least carry a couple of eggs or a bar of soap to teach the "not-at-homes" a little lesson. Sheesh, nobody even smashes pumpkins on the street anymore. The Bowl On the Porch - Totally lame What kind of morons leave a bowl of candy on the porch with a sign that says "Please take just one!"? The first self-respecting kid that comes by is going to dump the whole thing in his bag. Besides, in this day of Lack of Trick (see above) you have nothing to worry about if you're not home - nobody is going to do anything to your house anyway. The Car Escort - Thrashing in a sea of lameness There's nothing worse than seeing a convoy of cars following their children down the street. Even lamer is when the kids don't walk from house-to-house but actually go back to the car to get driven from house to house. What kind of wussies have we turned into? Are we as a country so fat and lazy that we can't simply walk with our kids as they go trick-or-treating but instead have to follow along behind them in the car? Sheesh - put on a coat and walk a few blocks! The Uncostumed Teenager - Mired in a sweaty mass of lameness You know the type. They usually ring your door around 9:00 p.m, have no costume, and are toting a pillow sack. When they lamely mumble "trick or treat", I always say "trick" and they sit there with a dumb look on their face. Do your worst you lame teenager - you ain't getting any free candy from me unless you at least go to the effort of pulling together a costume.