Should I make an asshole rec league BB father of myself?

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski

That's a tough call. Two weeks ago I didn't play one of my younger girls in the second half of a game (we were playing for first place in the league). She ended up quiting the team. She has had plenty of playing time all year and I promised her that she would see tons of playing time the next week (two games against easy teams). No dice. She is done.

I wouldn't feel too bad. This is competitive ball, right, not city? Big difference, IMHO. Also the age is much older than 8, right?

At 8 years old, city league, you're a jerk if you don't play everyone half the game. The older they get and more competitive the league, the more it changes.

[myboynoah]

Thanks everyone for your comments, especially those about involvement. I've been going with the 12-year-old to practice while Mrs. myboynoah has been with the 8-year-old. She has obviously failed. Time to switch that up a bit. I'm showing up to practice tomorrow night.

I thought about coaching, but just don't have the time. Also, I don't know that being an assistant will help. The current assistant's kid played as little as mine last night.

This isn't about my kid not getting a fair shake in terms of his abilities. He's 8 and has a lot of growing to do. That will take care of itself and if we had sought out a competitive league, I wouldn't be raising this.

There is no league champion crowned, diminishing the incentive to win at all costs. Granted, kids want to win, but they also want to play. My view is that the program charges a hefty fee for participation so there should be a more equitable distribution of playing time.

If things don't change, I'll probably raise it in a not-so-confrontational way after more interaction with the coach. Something like, "So, what should I work on with Teo so that he gets to play more?"

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by myboynoah

Thanks everyone for your comments, especially those about involvement. I've been going with the 12-year-old to practice while Mrs. myboynoah has been with the 8-year-old. She has obviously failed. Time to switch that up a bit. I'm showing up to practice tomorrow night.

I thought about coaching, but just don't have the time. Also, I don't know that being an assistant will help. The current assistant's kid played as little as mine last night.

This isn't about my kid not getting a fair shake in terms of his abilities. He's 8 and has a lot of growing to do. That will take care of itself and if we had sought out a competitive league, I wouldn't be raising this.

There is no league champion crowned, diminishing the incentive to win at all costs. Granted, kids want to win, but they also want to play. My view is that the program charges a hefty fee for participation so there should be a more equitable distribution of playing time.

If things don't change, I'll probably raise it in a not-so-confrontational way after more interaction with the coach. Something like, "So, what should I work on with Teo so that he gets to play more?"

Just curious, what are your city league fees? Ours in Utah are $30-$40 for a season for sports like soccer, bb, flag football.

[myboynoah]

Originally Posted by RockyBalboa

Coaches put up with more shit from parents than they deserve.

The older a kid gets the more the score begins to matter and the more winning begins to matter and most parents think their kid is the one getting the shaft.

There are times where a parent just needs to be told the truth that "your kid isn't playing as much because he/she hasn't earned or isn't good enough to be."

It's also a good opportunity to teach a kid a valuable lesson about supporting a team no matter what your role is. There will always be a kid or more that gets their feelings hurt and the parent who thinks it's their responsibility to take up their own kids cause. It's not easy and I feel bad for them, but it's an inevitable part of choosing to participate in a competitive environment.

Usually the solution is simple: Your kid isn't out there because they aren't good enough. They don't like hearing that, but the fact is sometimes the truth hurts.

Perhaps, but in this case we're talking about a city league for 8-year-olds geared towards participation. We went through the same thing in soccer where my kid dominated, but sat out his requisit time. We'll be bumping him up to a competitive league next year where my expectations will be much different.

This coach's stated objectives were about "having fun, not winning." I'm cutting him slack, first game and all. I'm just wondering when is the right time to note that my kid saw the floor for 14 mintues while others saw if the 30. I'll probably give it a little more time, but Jay is right, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

I'm not going to give the coach any shit unless he deserves it. I think I can be a pretty good judge of that.

[myboynoah]

Originally Posted by jay santos

Just curious, what are your city league fees? Ours in Utah are $30-$40 for a season for sports like soccer, bb, flag football.

I think $135 per kid per sport. Quite a bit to watch your kid sit on the bench.

[RockyBalboa]

Originally Posted by myboynoah

Perhaps, but in this case we're talking about a city league for 8-year-olds geared towards participation. We went through the same thing in soccer where my kid dominated, but sat out his requisit time. We'll be bumping him up to a competitive league next year where my expectations will be much different.

This coach's stated objectives were about "having fun, not winning." I'm cutting him slack, first game and all. I'm just wondering when is the right time to note that my kid saw the floor for 14 mintues while others saw if the 30. I'll probably give it a little more time, but Jay is right, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

I'm not going to give the coach any shit unless he deserves it. I think I can be a pretty good judge of that.

I agree at a younger age that the emphasis should be on enjoying themselves and participation. Starting on fundamentals early is of most import regardless of playing time.

That's why I noted that the older they get that winning gets more important.

What exactly denotes "Giving a coach shit if he deserves it?" What you think is not enough playing time? The only time I think it's appropriate for a parent to intervene is if a coach is being abusive.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Originally Posted by jay santos

I wouldn't feel too bad. This is competitive ball, right, not city? Big difference, IMHO. Also the age is much older than 8, right?

At 8 years old, city league, you're a jerk if you don't play everyone half the game. The older they get and more competitive the league, the more it changes.

I stand by my decision to play for the win in that game. It is an AAU league, not Jr. Jazz. 11-12 year olds. Frankly, I was stunned by what happened. This girl has older siblings who are star athletes (brother and sister both have both accepted scholie offers from BYU). Perhaps she was embarrassed. I like her and her family, so it is awkward.

When I coached Jr. Jazz I would have them sit on the bench in order and I would rotate them in systematically. You do that in AAU and you get your lunch eaten. Kids like to win, too.

The worst part is that I am having a tough time finding a replacement player.

[MikeWaters]

You stuck it to her, she has the right to stick it to you.

Fair play in my book.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

You stuck it to her, she has the right to stick it to you.

Fair play in my book.

Yep.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski

Yep.

This is a girl that will probably do well. She'll stand up for herself.

Either that or she will be a quitter and a loser.