My son and school

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by tooblue

We had a rule growing up in my home -- you finished what you started, especially sports. We were not permitted to quit. A lot of that had to do with the fact that my parents made sacrifices to pay for the sports but it was also to teach us about life.

Early in our marriage my wife did not agree with that philosophy. I insisted and it's one of the few battles I have won My children are not permitted to quit, even if I have to drag them kicking and screaming.

That's our rule too. Saturday is my son's last soccer game for the season (and probably for life). He would have quit 2 months ago.

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

I agree with this approach. Much of what we do in life is going to suck....seeing things through builds character.

I do find it funny that your wife argued against teaching your kids not to quit...and then, true to form, she eventually quit! I am sure she is a hard worker, but the mental image was very simpsons-esque.

What do you expect tooblue... she's canadian

[tooblue]

Originally Posted by Mormon Red Death

What do you expect tooblue... she's canadian

She had a different philosophy that's all.

[tooblue]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

The kid wants to be a famous chef. When we went back east this summer the two places he wanted to see were Fenway Park and Bobby Fay's restaurant in New York City. I'm fine with this if I knew he would really do his best. He just needs to realize their is a huge difference in effort between having your own place and flipping burgers. Thanks for you thoughts.

If it make's any difference I'm the best artist living in Canada I can be!

[RC Vikings]

Originally Posted by tooblue

We had a rule growing up in my home -- you finished what you started, especially sports.

We never let him quit during the season and he never asked to. He just wouldn't go out for the team the next year. He told me last night that he has always chosen the path of least resistance so it's part laziness and part not being able to settle into anything.

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

We never let him quit during the season and he never asked to. He just wouldn't go out for the team the next year. He told me last night that he has always chosen the path of least resistance so it's part laziness and part not being able to settle into anything.

Since he wants to be chef why not get him into cooking class or maybe a cooking competition? Maybe get him a job at a local bakery. Its not sports but it might be somehing he could settle into.

[tooblue]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

We never let him quit during the season and he never asked to. He just wouldn't go out for the team the next year. He told me last night that he has always chosen the path of least resistance so it's part laziness and part not being able to settle into anything.

I didn't mean to imply that you let him quit, I should've been more careful with my comments.

[Surfah]

Originally Posted by marsupial

That's our rule too. Saturday is my son's last soccer game for the season (and probably for life). He would have quit 2 months ago.

You don't sound grateful.

[tooblue]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

We never let him quit during the season and he never asked to. He just wouldn't go out for the team the next year. He told me last night that he has always chosen the path of least resistance so it's part laziness and part not being able to settle into anything.

I certainly wasn't a path of least resistance type but I was lazy. Despite my frustration at being misunderstood I am extremely grateful for the way I was raised -- my mother and father are good parents. I'll tell you one thing, in retrospect, I especially appreciated about how I was handled. If my laziness or attitude became too much to bare on my parents they had no trouble making my life miserable in return.

My mother would tell me that if I wanted to act 'that way' then I would be treated 'that way'. She wouldn't do laundry or clean up after me etc. Any protestations were met with 'tuff'!

[marsupial]

RC, have you tried some sort of a reward system? Money talks you know. And if you offer smaller, but more frequent rewards, you may get results. (Offering a big reward at the end of a term for good grades only works for kids who are already motivated. It's mission impossible for for the rest.)

We do a reward system with our son. He's almost 7, so quite a bit younger, but rewards work for any age. He gets poker chips for good behavior at school, at church, doing his homework in a timely fashion, being kind to his sister, getting his chores done, etc. He can trade in his poker chips for computer time, TV time, trips to Sonic or Blockbuster or even Transformers and other toys when he saves up enough. (We also take away poker chips for bad behavior.) Your son is probably too old for the poker chip system, but you could probably come up with something similar that would appeal to him.