Contemplating a crime - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Jeff Lebowski · 02-20-2006, 04:59 AM

Our neighbor's dog had puppies a month or so ago. The doghouse is just across the fence and is adjacent to our bedroom window. Every night those damn dogs start yelping at about 3:00 am. Then again about every hour after that. My wife and I are both getting seriously sleep deprived. We would wear earplugs, but our daughter has a sleepwalking habit and we don't dare become deaf for fear that she would sleepwalk out the front door. The other night I was lying in bed and I realized that I had a newfound respect for Cruella Deville. I really believe that she is not a bad person; just misunderstood.

So, I appeal to you, fellow CG'ers. Give me some ideas. How can I bump off the doggies and not make the police blotter? Any chemicals you can think of that would be tough to trace? Any way of snuffing them out that would not make too much noise?

Signed:

Sleepless in Happy Valley

H.I. McDonough · 02-20-2006, 05:07 AM

Save yourself the jail time, and just go tell your neighbors that their dogs are keeping you awake, and that they need to do something about it...

ute4ever · 02-20-2006, 05:47 AM

Get a pit bull.

Jeff Lebowski · 02-20-2006, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H.I. McDonough

Save yourself the jail time, and just go tell your neighbors that their dogs are keeping you awake, and that they need to do something about it...

That's pretty funny. We've told them countless times. If only it were that simple.

creekster · 02-20-2006, 05:06 PM

I had a friend whose neighbor's dog kept gettinf into his garbag. He kept complaining to the neighboir to no avail. In order to solve the issue he manufactured a special meatball which was made of raw meat and d-con rat poiison. He then left it in his garbage can. The dog got into the garbage, was deighted to find raw meat, and then was no more.

No humane, I suppose, but it was effective.

Jeff Lebowski · 02-21-2006, 03:02 AM

Good news folks. The neighbors finally got rid of the puppies today. Woohoo!

FWIW, I wouldn't have had the heart to knock 'em off.

Ah yes, we can finally get a good night's rest.

myboynoah · 02-21-2006, 12:59 PM

Bummer!

I just happen to know someone who specializes in exactly these kinds of sticky situations.

"I see many dogs on my mail route. I'll bet there's not one type of mutt or mongrel I haven't run across. If you ask me, they have no business living amongst us. Vile, USELESS BEASTS . . ."

NEWMAN!

creekster · 02-21-2006, 02:42 PM

BTW, just to show my age, everytime I read the subject line of this thread (contemplating a crime) it is followed by Al Stewart's voice singing "In The Year of the Cat." Does this happen to anyone else?

(you know ". . . strolling through thew crowd like peter Lorry contemplating a crime, in the Year of the Cat")

Also btw, Al Stewart lives not too far from where I do these days and his kids go to a local high school and he puts on a benefit concert there every so often. Weird.

il Padrino Ute · 02-21-2006, 03:45 PM

Al Stewart is one of my favorites, though I had forgotten about that line from Year of the Cat. And yes, I'm old enough to remember that song when it was first released.

I'm now going to have to get out his greatest hits CD and listen to it.

02-20-2006, 04:59 AM	#1
Jeff Lebowski Charon Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the heart of darkness (Provo) Posts: 9,564	Contemplating a crime Our neighbor's dog had puppies a month or so ago. The doghouse is just across the fence and is adjacent to our bedroom window. Every night those damn dogs start yelping at about 3:00 am. Then again about every hour after that. My wife and I are both getting seriously sleep deprived. We would wear earplugs, but our daughter has a sleepwalking habit and we don't dare become deaf for fear that she would sleepwalk out the front door. The other night I was lying in bed and I realized that I had a newfound respect for Cruella Deville. I really believe that she is not a bad person; just misunderstood. So, I appeal to you, fellow CG'ers. Give me some ideas. How can I bump off the doggies and not make the police blotter? Any chemicals you can think of that would be tough to trace? Any way of snuffing them out that would not make too much noise? Signed: Sleepless in Happy Valley

02-20-2006, 05:07 AM	#2
H.I. McDonough Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Arizona Posts: 9	Save yourself the jail time, and just go tell your neighbors that their dogs are keeping you awake, and that they need to do something about it... __________________ I\'ll be taking these Huggies...and whatever cash you got

02-21-2006, 12:59 PM	#7
myboynoah Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Memphis freakin' Tennessee!!!!! Posts: 4,530	Bummer! I just happen to know someone who specializes in exactly these kinds of sticky situations. "I see many dogs on my mail route. I'll bet there's not one type of mutt or mongrel I haven't run across. If you ask me, they have no business living amongst us. Vile, USELESS BEASTS . . ." NEWMAN! __________________ Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!! Religion rises inevitably from our apprehension of our own death. To give meaning to meaninglessness is the endless quest of all religion. When death becomes the center of our consciousness, then religion authentically begins. Of all religions that I know, the one that most vehemently and persuasively defies and denies the reality of death is the original Mormonism of the Prophet, Seer and Revelator, Joseph Smith.

02-21-2006, 03:45 PM	#9
il Padrino Ute Board Pinhead Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the basement of my house, Murray, Utah. Posts: 15,941	Al Stewart is one of my favorites, though I had forgotten about that line from Year of the Cat. And yes, I'm old enough to remember that song when it was first released. I'm now going to have to get out his greatest hits CD and listen to it. __________________ "The beauty of baseball is not having to explain it." - Chuck Shriver "This is now the joke that stupid people laugh at." - Christopher Hitchens on IQ jokes about GWB.

02-20-2006, 05:47 AM	#3
ute4ever I must not tell lies Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,103	Get a pit bull.

02-20-2006, 05:06 PM	#5
creekster Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: the far corner of my mind Posts: 8,711	I had a friend whose neighbor's dog kept gettinf into his garbag. He kept complaining to the neighboir to no avail. In order to solve the issue he manufactured a special meatball which was made of raw meat and d-con rat poiison. He then left it in his garbage can. The dog got into the garbage, was deighted to find raw meat, and then was no more. No humane, I suppose, but it was effective.

02-21-2006, 03:02 AM	#6
Jeff Lebowski Charon Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the heart of darkness (Provo) Posts: 9,564	Good news folks. The neighbors finally got rid of the puppies today. Woohoo! FWIW, I wouldn't have had the heart to knock 'em off. Ah yes, we can finally get a good night's rest.

02-21-2006, 02:42 PM	#8
creekster Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: the far corner of my mind Posts: 8,711	BTW, just to show my age, everytime I read the subject line of this thread (contemplating a crime) it is followed by Al Stewart's voice singing "In The Year of the Cat." Does this happen to anyone else? (you know ". . . strolling through thew crowd like peter Lorry contemplating a crime, in the Year of the Cat") Also btw, Al Stewart lives not too far from where I do these days and his kids go to a local high school and he puts on a benefit concert there every so often. Weird.