I already posted this on the board, but I kind of wanted

[DrumNFeather]

At some point in a discussion long ago, I seem to remember you putting a high premium on your future spouse having served a mission. (You can correct me if I'm wrong on that). As such, I would think that if you had a mandate that the future Mr. Diamond Bay serve a mission, than it stands to reason that the person being a temple recommend holder would fall in line with that request.

Obviously, people can serve missions and fall of the wagon and eventually get a recommend...which I understand, but I would think that in this particular instance, if one has a hang up about someone having served a mission (which would eventually come up in the course of a few dats, if not the first) than I would also have to assume that the same would apply for a temple rec.

[ute4ever]

While on the airplane returning home from the mission, I asked Sister Mansfield if she was excited to find herself a hot RM to spend eternity with. Her response was, "are you kidding? The title returned missionary means nothing to me now."

[Black Diamond Bay]

Originally Posted by DrumNFeather

At some point in a discussion long ago, I seem to remember you putting a high premium on your future spouse having served a mission. (You can correct me if I'm wrong on that). As such, I would think that if you had a mandate that the future Mr. Diamond Bay serve a mission, than it stands to reason that the person being a temple recommend holder would fall in line with that request.

Obviously, people can serve missions and fall of the wagon and eventually get a recommend...which I understand, but I would think that in this particular instance, if one has a hang up about someone having served a mission (which would eventually come up in the course of a few dats, if not the first) than I would also have to assume that the same would apply for a temple rec.

Yeah, it's kind of true, I do have a little hangup with the mission thing. I know it's borderline irrational, judgmental, unforgiving, etc. I dated one really nice guy that was falling all over himself for me, but I just could never get past it. I finally had to just kick him to the curb. So now I don't even bother trying to get past it, so now you can all think less of me for being like that.

A tr is an entirely different matter, recommends come, and recommends go. RM is just one of those black and white things, you either are or you aren't, and in my dating demographic, that's not something that's going to change.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

Yeah, it's kind of true, I do have a little hangup with the mission thing. I know it's borderline irrational, judgmental, unforgiving, etc. I dated one really nice guy that was falling all over himself for me, but I just could never get past it. I finally had to just kick him to the curb. So now I don't even bother trying to get past it, so now you can all think less of me for being like that.

A tr is an entirely different matter, recommends come, and recommends go. RM is just one of those black and white things, you either are or you aren't, and in my dating demographic, that's not something that's going to change.

How has limiting yourself to RMs worked for your as a spouse finding strategy?

[RockyBalboa]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

Yeah, it's kind of true, I do have a little hangup with the mission thing. I know it's borderline irrational, judgmental, unforgiving, etc. I dated one really nice guy that was falling all over himself for me, but I just could never get past it. I finally had to just kick him to the curb. So now I don't even bother trying to get past it, so now you can all think less of me for being like that.

A tr is an entirely different matter, recommends come, and recommends go. RM is just one of those black and white things, you either are or you aren't, and in my dating demographic, that's not something that's going to change.

BDB,,,the simple fact is this...and other single LDS men in their 30's or older will back me up on this: The older you get the harder and thinner the pool of temple recommend worthy single men out there dwindles not just by a little bit,,,,but dramatically so. My guess...and I could be wrong is that you probably already know this or are discovering this on your own.

I'm not saying this should usher in a sense of urgency for you to go out and get hitched. I'm not suggesting that at all....but I am telling you that with the level of expectation you've set for yourself and what your demands for a future spouse are, that it's going to make things even that more difficult later on in life to find what you think you want.

It's also VERY easy to lie and get a temple recommend and I know a lot of people who do it or who've done it. Having a temple recommend isn't neccessarily an accurate gauge of whether a person is still worthy to consider for marriage or not and if that's the main standard "Friend A" has set up for herself she's in for a world of hurt later on when reality sets her up for a painful fall. "Friend A" will have cheated herself out of someone awesome if that's the main deal breaker. Having a TR is a good thing...a good thing to want a future spouse to have, but if that's the deal breaker,,,then like I once heard a General Authority tell me once when I was working towards getting my recommend back....it's not where you are, but where you're going that really matters.

[Black Diamond Bay]

Originally Posted by RockyBalboa

BDB,,,the simple fact is this...and other single LDS men in their 30's or older will back me up on this: The older you get the harder and thinner the pool of temple recommend worthy single men out there dwindles not just by a little bit,,,,but dramatically so. My guess...and I could be wrong is that you probably already know this or are discovering this on your own.

I'm not saying this should usher in a sense of urgency for you to go out and get hitched. I'm not suggesting that at all....but I am telling you that with the level of expectation you've set for yourself and what your demands for a future spouse are, that it's going to make things even that more difficult later on in life to find what you think you want.

It's also VERY easy to lie and get a temple recommend and I know a lot of people who do it or who've done it. Having a temple recommend isn't neccessarily an accurate gauge of whether a person is still worthy to consider for marriage or not and if that's the main standard "Friend A" has set up for herself she's in for a world of hurt later on when reality sets her up for a painful fall.

Aside from my needing the guy to be an RM what do you know about my demands in a future spouse?

FYI, friend A is married.

[Black Diamond Bay]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

How has limiting yourself to RMs worked for your as a spouse finding strategy?

Oh about as well as it would if I hadn't limited myself to RM's. Trust me, there are much bigger issues at play that are keeping me single than whether or not I want to marry an RM.

[SoonerCoug]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

Aside from my needing the guy to be an RM what do you know about my demands in a future spouse?

FYI, friend A is married.

I'd be equally suspicious of RMs and non-RMs. I knew plenty of shady missionaries on my mission.

[RockyBalboa]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

Aside from my needing the guy to be an RM what do you know about my demands in a future spouse?

FYI, friend A is married.

What did I say about your other demands?

[Black Diamond Bay]

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

I'd be equally suspicious of RMs and non-RMs. I knew plenty of shady missionaries on my mission.

Who says I'm not?