My bishop is awesome: assigned seating

[BigFatMeanie]

Originally Posted by jay santos

I don't make an effort to "control" my kids. I let kids be kids. Sometimes I even take a sadistic pleasure in watching old people freak out when my toddler tosses his cheerios at them. They grow out of it over time.

My parenting opinion: the more you "control" them at a young age the more problems you create for them at a later age.

You and I have opposite theories on parenting (at least as it regards children's behavior in church).

[Jeff Lebowski]

Originally Posted by jay santos

My parenting opinion: the more you "control" them at a young age the more problems you create for them at a later age.

Fascinating theory. Tell us more.

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski

Fascinating theory. Tell us more.

Why do I feel like I'm being set up?

It's my wife's theory more than mine. We both came from extremely strict LDS famililies. She studied Child Development at BYU and was influenced there. I would probably be tougher on them at a younger age if left to my own doing. But she believes in almost no discipline under the age of 2 or 3. And then slowly adding on discipline starting about then, but much less than typical. That the concepts of being loved unconditionally are much more important than teaching discipline at that age. Our kids seem to become miraculously well behaved once they hit 4 or 5, so it seems to work for us. Knock on wood because we're just hitting the teenage years. And my theory is more that they come to you from heaven with their personalities and they're going to be who they are going to be no matter what you do to them.

P.S. I probably come across to much bragging in this post that I have the key to child raising. Far from the truth. I think I'm mostly lucky I just have good kids.

[BarbaraGordon]

Originally Posted by jay santos

Why do I feel like I'm being set up?

It's my wife's theory more than mine. We both came from extremely strict LDS famililies. She studied Child Development at BYU and was influenced there. I would probably be tougher on them at a younger age if left to my own doing. But she believes in almost no discipline under the age of 2 or 3. And then slowly adding on discipline starting about then, but much less than typical. That the concepts of being loved unconditionally are much more important than teaching discipline at that age. Our kids seem to become miraculously well behaved once they hit 4 or 5, so it seems to work for us. Knock on wood because we're just hitting the teenage years. And my theory is more that they come to you from heaven with their personalities and they're going to be who they are going to be no matter what you do to them.

How many do you have?

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by BarbaraGordon

How many do you have?

Way too many.

Five.

[Goatnapper'96]

Originally Posted by JohnnyLingo

And somehow none of us were ever medicated. Hmm.

You mean what we see is natural?

[Insensitive PAP]

Originally Posted by jay santos

I don't make an effort to "control" my kids. I let kids be kids. Sometimes I even take a sadistic pleasure in watching old people freak out when my toddler tosses his cheerios at them. They grow out of it over time.

My parenting opinion: the more you "control" them at a young age the more problems you create for them at a later age.

Coming to an AA meeting near you.

[Jeff Lebowski]

Originally Posted by jay santos

Why do I feel like I'm being set up?

It's my wife's theory more than mine. We both came from extremely strict LDS famililies. She studied Child Development at BYU and was influenced there. I would probably be tougher on them at a younger age if left to my own doing. But she believes in almost no discipline under the age of 2 or 3. And then slowly adding on discipline starting about then, but much less than typical. That the concepts of being loved unconditionally are much more important than teaching discipline at that age. Our kids seem to become miraculously well behaved once they hit 4 or 5, so it seems to work for us. Knock on wood because we're just hitting the teenage years. And my theory is more that they come to you from heaven with their personalities and they're going to be who they are going to be no matter what you do to them.

P.S. I probably come across to much bragging in this post that I have the key to child raising. Far from the truth. I think I'm mostly lucky I just have good kids.

Interesting. Can you give us some examples of this "almost no discipline" strategy? I mean, how far do you carry this?

[il Padrino Ute]

We're always in the back of the chapel as it was a quicker escape with our kids when they were toddlers.

Now that our youngest is 4, I've decided that the back is a quicker escape during a particularly boring Sacrament meeting.

[Venkman]

I know a family with the let kids act like kids policy. The kids are out of freaking control.

One evening I was talking to this guy in his driveway. His three year old kid had a wiffle ball bat and hit me with it on the leg. The dad didn't say a thing. Second time, nothing. Finally, on the third time, I told the kid, "will you stop that"? Again, the dad didn't say a word. Then the kid tried to hit me again. I grabbed the bat mid swing, yanked it away and chucked it across the yard. Again, nothing from the dad. I was floored.

An extreme example, and I'm not saying Santos would do this, or his kids would even act this way, but there's limits to the hands-off method, IMO.