Masturbation on Mission - Page 5 - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

BigFatMeanie · 06-23-2007, 04:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

There was a guy on my mission who carried around a big porno magazine stash in his suitcase, and would bring his suitcase into the bathroom frequently.

When i was in the mission office, I recommended to the mission president that this missionary be promoted to district leader (not knowing about this missionary's problem). My suggestion was met with an emphatic: "No. Never."

Sooner, no offense intended here; however, I had always thought that you were a chick. It wasn't until this post that I realized you are a dude. I knew that you were friends with Barbara in real life and I just kind of assumed you were a chick. Sorry, man.

SoonerCoug · 06-23-2007, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigFatMeanie

Sooner, no offense intended here; however, I had always thought that you were a chick. It wasn't until this post that I realized you are a dude. I knew that you were friends with Barbara in real life and I just kind of assumed you were a chick. Sorry, man.

It's OK.

Barbara was the librarian at the medical research institute where my wife and I both work/study. She helped me get some papers one day, and she mentioned her love of football (sooner football, to be specific). I mentioned that I love BYU football, and that I spend a lot of time on "Cougarboard." She found her way over to Cougarguard, and that's how BarbaraGordon arrived.

I'm also generally responsible for bringing mindfulcoug to this site. Mindful is a muslim female immunologist from Iran (who I have never actually met personally. I just have been penpals with her and her husband in Iran for many years. That all started with a discussion of cell death.) She has very "different" views about religion and politics, and she posts less frequently. She is quite familiar with Mormonism, also.

Now if I can just get my WIFE to log onto cougarguard. Her family is a bunch of ute fans, and I told her that there are plenty of utes on cougarguard, but the whole "cougar" thing is not working for her.

SoonerCoug · 06-23-2007, 05:00 AM

Actually, I need to elaborate on why I was mentioning cougarboard to Barbara.

I signed up on cougarboard, after not frequenting the site for years. I immediately became a donor, and within 15 minutes Bernard had banned me for a couple of weeks or something.

Apparently I had an old login that I hadn't used (or used sparingly) for many years. By signing up with a new nickname, I was immediately banned, despite the fact that I had just given the mullahs my mulah.

So I was really ticked off and I was whining about it to people at work who couldn't have possibly cared (including Barbara), and that's how she heard about cougarboard.

il Padrino Ute · 06-23-2007, 05:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

It's OK.

Barbara was the librarian at the medical research institute where my wife and I both work/study. She helped me get some papers one day, and she mentioned her love of football (sooner football, to be specific). I mentioned that I love BYU football, and that I spend a lot of time on "Cougarboard." She found her way over to Cougarguard, and that's how BarbaraGordon arrived.

I'm also generally responsible for bringing mindfulcoug to this site. Mindful is a muslim female immunologist from Iran (who I have never actually met personally. I just have been penpals with her and her husband in Iran for many years. That all started with a discussion of cell death.) She has very "different" views about religion and politics, and she posts less frequently. She is quite familiar with Mormonism, also.

Now if I can just get my WIFE to log onto cougarguard. Her family is a bunch of ute fans, and I told her that there are plenty of utes on cougarguard, but the whole "cougar" thing is not working for her.

It sounds like you are a very lucky man marrying a Ute. Keep trying to get her to join us here. We need more Utes with the XX chromosomes.

SoonerCoug · 06-23-2007, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by il Padrino Ute

It sounds like you are a very lucky man marrying a Ute. Keep trying to get her to join us here. We need more Utes with the XX chromosomes.

Yes, I had the honor of watching you Utes at the Armed Forces Bowl with my in-laws. What a treat.

il Padrino Ute · 06-23-2007, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

Yes, I had the honor of watching you Utes at the Armed Forces Bowl with my in-laws. What a treat.

I watched it on TV. I am now officially jealous and will have to hate you for the next 5 minutes or so.

ute4ever · 06-23-2007, 09:59 AM

I'll limit my experience in the great ALRM to only two examples in reply to this topic:

1) Elder X used his monthly stipend to pay for a subscription to Playboy. When our mission president found out, the elder was not sent home or even punished; Pres simply instructed him to cancel his subscription. (I know this firsthand because I was transfered into his area in his place, and the magazines showed up in the mail).

2) Elder Y was my district leader in Jacksonville, AR and was so proud of his masterbating that he would openly talk about it, and even said he once did so a few hours before going to the temple. (We were allowed to visit the Memphis temple every three months).

Frank Ryan · 06-23-2007, 10:22 AM

I had a companion who had a stash of playboys in the apartment, he also had a 9mm gun (which he claimed was likely stolen) that some creepy lady who had a crush on him gave him as a gift.

He was also a bigot.

The ward mission leader in that area drank and smoke. It made for an interesting time. It was not my spiritual apex.

Archaea · 06-23-2007, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mastershake

I had a companion who had a stash of playboys in the apartment, he also had a 9mm gun (which he claimed was likely stolen) that some creepy lady who had a crush on him gave him as a gift.

He was also a bigot.

The ward mission leader in that area drank and smoke. It made for an interesting time. It was not my spiritual apex.

Yes it appears you stateside elders served in holding pens while real elders were set abroad where we were allowed to show our faces to foreign friends.

MikeWaters · 06-23-2007, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ute4ever

I'll limit my experience in the great ALRM to only two examples in reply to this topic:

1) Elder X used his monthly stipend to pay for a subscription to Playboy. When our mission president found out, the elder was not sent home or even punished; Pres simply instructed him to cancel his subscription. (I know this firsthand because I was transfered into his area in his place, and the magazines showed up in the mail).

2) Elder Y was my district leader in Jacksonville, AR and was so proud of his masterbating that he would openly talk about it, and even said he once did so a few hours before going to the temple. (We were allowed to visit the Memphis temple every three months).

If my son is called to the ALRM, I won't let him go.

View Poll Results: Is it ok (i.e. not a sin) for a missionary to masturbate on his/her mission?
yes it is ok	12	27.91%
no, it is not ok	31	72.09%
Voters: 43. You may not vote on this poll

06-23-2007, 10:22 AM	#48
Frank Ryan Formerly Mastershake Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Utah Posts: 707	maybe stateside elders are less valiant I had a companion who had a stash of playboys in the apartment, he also had a 9mm gun (which he claimed was likely stolen) that some creepy lady who had a crush on him gave him as a gift. He was also a bigot. The ward mission leader in that area drank and smoke. It made for an interesting time. It was not my spiritual apex.

06-23-2007, 05:00 AM	#43
SoonerCoug Formerly known as MudPhudCoug Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Land of desolation Posts: 2,548	Actually, I need to elaborate on why I was mentioning cougarboard to Barbara. I signed up on cougarboard, after not frequenting the site for years. I immediately became a donor, and within 15 minutes Bernard had banned me for a couple of weeks or something. Apparently I had an old login that I hadn't used (or used sparingly) for many years. By signing up with a new nickname, I was immediately banned, despite the fact that I had just given the mullahs my mulah. So I was really ticked off and I was whining about it to people at work who couldn't have possibly cared (including Barbara), and that's how she heard about cougarboard.

06-23-2007, 09:59 AM	#47
ute4ever I must not tell lies Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,103	I'll limit my experience in the great ALRM to only two examples in reply to this topic: 1) Elder X used his monthly stipend to pay for a subscription to Playboy. When our mission president found out, the elder was not sent home or even punished; Pres simply instructed him to cancel his subscription. (I know this firsthand because I was transfered into his area in his place, and the magazines showed up in the mail). 2) Elder Y was my district leader in Jacksonville, AR and was so proud of his masterbating that he would openly talk about it, and even said he once did so a few hours before going to the temple. (We were allowed to visit the Memphis temple every three months).